(Finished) Samuel Ignacio Rivera IV always gets what he wants - including Ava Vanessa Vargas. Since he was young, he already planted it on his mind that Ava will always be his no matter how twisted will it become.
Even if it could also end into his...
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Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
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"Fourth, the fuck happened?"
I gulped another glass of beer when my cousin finally arrived. I was currently drinking alone at the club. I was sitting near the bar counter and was already on my sixth glass. I knew it was already late at night and I decided to drown myself with alcohol. I want to drown every bit of my body with the fucking alcohol.
"I fucked everything up, Anjo. I fucked everything up again." I told him, the music inside was blasting so loudly. Somehow, in that hour, I just want to fucking die. I want her to fucking kill me.
The way Charlotte looked at me... it was fucking different. She looked at me like she was disgusted by my presence. She looked at me with so much hatred. She looked at me like I was sort of a fucking trash. In which... I am. I am fucking piece of shit.
Since we were young, I always had hurt her... then I came to realize my feelings for here but then I fucked it up. I have hurt her again and this time, I know it was too much. She had enough of my bullshits.
And it fucking hurts like hell.
I knew Charlotte was my redemption. She was my saving grace but... I took her for granted. I destroyed her all over again.
Anjo sat beside me and ordered a drink. I haven't been hanging out with him since he got dumped by her ex-nerd girlfriend. Maybe like me, he also fucked everything up, "Fourth, another scandal had spread again. I don't know if you're just really a fucking idiot or you're a fucking complicated person."
I didn't reply and just continued drinking. I don't fucking know. Masyadong magulo ang mga emosyon na nararamdaman ko. I told Charlotte that I love her. I knew it was the truth. I was fucking scared that someday she'll eventually leave me because I'm a fucking asshole... but then whenever I'm with Ava, although my feelings towards her isn't intense as before anymore, hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit ko pa rin siya nilalapitan. Like she casted a sort of spell at me that no matter what, I'll still go back to her.
It's fucking complicated to understand.
And I don't fucking deserve Charlotte.
"I know what it feels like... to hurt like a fucking hell," Anjo talked again, "But you got your chance but you bastard fucked it up."
I know.
I fucking know.
And I hate myself for it.
"Who do you really fucking want, Fourth?"
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I immediately parked my car at the side of her house. It was already past midnight and after the talk that I had with my cousin, I decided to come here.
