Chapter 25

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Give me love by Ed Sheeran

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Give me love by Ed Sheeran

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"We tried everything but..." The doctor shook his head at me, "She's conscious but only the ventilator keeps her breathing and alive. She told us to turn it off after an hour."

I nodded at the doctor as I made my way inside her room. True enough, it was only the respirator who keeps her alive and once it'll be turned off... she'll die.

When she already saw me inside, she smiled. It was the most genuine smile I've ever seen. Her smile felt lighter and calm.

"I didn't expect to still see you here," She started after I settled down beside her bed. I shrugged trying to feel ease around her. Earlier, I thought it was over... but then when we arrived at the hospital, the doctors tried to revived her. And she did.

But only for an hour.

She only got an hour.

She suddenly touched my face. I was suprised with her sudden gesture. Her eyes softened at me, "Did you cry?"

I didn't say anything. Because I did. I cried for her. For the first time, I felt real pain. I was scared and afraid.

She smiled at me again then avoided my eyes. She looked at her front, "You shouldn't have cried, Fourth. I don't deserve it."

I clenched my fists after she said those words. Ava Vanessa is really a complicated person. Kahit isang beses ay hindi ko siya maintindihan. She never opened up to me nor told me something true about herself. She always had these walls that no one could ever penetrate into it.

"Why?" Iyon lang ang tanging naitanong ko. I heard her giggling. She seemed to be happy now but I'm not.

I don't know. It's fucking very hard.

"Remember when you're the only one who visited me when I got really sick in the hospital? Until now, ikaw pa rin ang nandito. Kahit sa huling hininga ko, ikaw pa rin ang nakikita ko, Fourth. It's funny how fucked-up it is, right?"

"I don't understand, Ava. You know how much I'm devoted to you..." Every words were hard to say. Nanginginig na rin ang kamay ko habang sinasabi iyon.

"I know, Fourth. You are and sometimes, I felt guilty for it." Ngumiti ito muli sa 'kin pero hindi na iyon abot sa mga tenga niya, "I have leukemia."

My world stopped for a second.

"Kung naalala mo pa, the very first time I got hospitalized, the doctors told me that I'm sick with a certain cancer. That's why I needed the blood tranfusion. They told me the options for the treatment but I didn't go with it."

"You lied to me..."

I believed what she told me before that it was just a flu... But then I was too dense not to notice the changes on her body. Maybe because I was busy obsessing with the thought that she's going to be mine someday - without even realizing that it was already too much.

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