Irreplaceable You

Chapter 18: One More Night

Please play on spotify Let Her Go - Amaranth Cove while reading this.

Beatriz
I went home on my condo, cause I need to be alone. As I was chugging my whiskey on past 11pm. Mayday Parade on play...

I heard a knock at my door.

I'm not yet drunk and I still manage to open the door.

To my surprise and unexpected person in front of me, she hugged me. Jhoana hugged me.

"What are you doing here Jho?" Bea

"I followed you, I thought you are going home sa bahay nina Tita Det. But here you are getting yourself drunk." Jho

"Why are you here? Just leave Jhoana, leave me alone." Bea

"I really don't know the answer, why I followed you here. I'm sorry." Jho

"You are making things harder Jho. I'm begging you please...leave." Bea

I drank the whiskey bottle in my hand. Hindi ko maramdaman yung pait at init na gumuguhit sa lalamunan ko. Ganito na ba ako kamanhid? Na mas masakit pa din ang nararamdaman ng puso ko.

"Bei please stop drinking, I don't like seeing you in this state." Jho

She hugged me.

I tried pushing her away.

"Jho please just leave... leave me now while I still can..." Bea

"Beatriz I'm sorry for hurting you." Jho

"Tanggap ko na Jho, please umalis ka na lang." Bea

"I'm sorry for not choosing you. I'm sorry if I didn't trust my heart. But let me just spend this night with you and I'll leave you." Jho

"Jho you are making things harder. Please I'm letting you go. Just go... bumalik ka na kay Nico. Ayoko na nang gulo." Bea

"But Bei, ayokong umalis nang ganyan ka, ayokong iwan ka ng ganyan." Jho

"Jho mas mahihirapan lang tayo...mas mahihirapan ako" Bea

Unti unti nang pumapatak ang luha ko. Sa di ko inaasahan ay siya ding pagpatak ng luha ni Jhoana.

"Why are you crying?" Bea

"I don't know. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I don't want to see you like this... nasasaktan ka ng dahil sakin. Nasasaktan kita." Jho

And the next thing....

She kissed me... she's kissing me while crying.

"Jho stop..." Bea

But she didn't stop. She kissed me passionately...

I felt her kisses longing...

Is she longing for me? But why?

"Jho let's stop... We shouldn't be doing this." Bea

"Bei... please just one more night. Even if I can't remember you. I can feel in my heart that I want you... I want to be with you tonight." Jhoana

And I kissed her...

We kissed like the old times. We kissed like we're fulfilling all the times that we lost each other. I feel like... I'm with the old Jhoana.

I started leaving wet kisses to her neck.

I carried her inside my room not breaking our kiss.

I know this is wrong but why do I feel like this is gonna be the last time. The last time I'm going to feel her.

I gently removed her clothes. She didn't resist.

I can still see her eyes.. she's still crying.

"Should I stop?" Bea

"No please I'm sorry... I just don't know why do I feel that this in not my first but this is gonna be my last with you." Jho

But before I even spoke she kissed me again.

Yeah Jhoana and I made love on that night.

Jhoana.

It's 4 am in the morning, I woke up beside Bea. I never regret anything. I really made love with her. But all things come to an end. I don't want to prolong her suffering anymore.

I got up from her bed.

I did my morning rituals and dressed myself.

Bumalik ako sa higaan niya. Para yakapin siya.

"Yayakapin kita ng sobrang higpit dahil alam kong ito na ang magiging huli. I'm sorry for always hurting you Beatriz. But you made me the happiest last night." Jho

Natulo na ang luha ko. Tinakpan ko yung bibig ko dahil ayokong marinig niya akong umiiyak. Ayoko pa siyang magising.... gusto ko lang siyang yakapin at titigan ngayon.

"I love you Bea, even if I can't remember you. I know, you hold a special place in my heart. I'm sorry for not choosing you and not being brave enough to fight for this feeling, I'm feeling inside." Jho

"I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you. But we need to separate our ways now. Please take care of yourself. I love you Bea, goodbye" Jho

I got up from her bed and kissed her for one last time.

My tears are betraying me.

I left her house without saying goodbye to her formally.

Beatriz.

I heard everything.

Our lovestory comes to an end.

She left me now... she left me for real.

But no one can ever replace her in my heart.

I cried when I heard the door closed.

I let my sob filled the room.

I am now letting her go.

Goodbye my Jhoana.

Weeks has passed. Everything has changed.

We became strangers. We actually don't talk to each other not unless necessary.
Everything went so fast.

We were so inlove but right now, we are like strangers... strangers with some memories too bad she doesn't remember.

Nico didn't bother me anymore, whenever he tries to tease me, I just ignored him.

I always feel her stare whenever I'm with Jia. Pero hinahayaan ko na lang, kasi wala namang mangyayari.

Even if I want to fight for her... alam kong ayaw na niya.

I will let our fate on God's hands. Kung kami talaga, kami talaga.

Masakit sa umpisa, inom dito inom doon, yosi dito, yosi doon. Laging napapagalitan ni Coach. But what can I do it hurts. I can't even sleep.

I went to a doctor and he advised me to lessen my smoking, one to two sticks a day or when I feel like to breathe and exhale all that I feel.

I'm starting to be happy with my teammates. And I can see that she's happy also.

Her happiness is my happiness.

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