In This Love

For What We Have Tonight

If we are really going to do this" he said looking at me first and then back to my glass " some old wine isn't going to do justice to what we might reveal" I raised my brows when I felt the invite and warning in his voice.

He wanted my permission to do something. The thing was that I didn't know for what he was asking for.
The baggage from today, the feeling of vulnerability I had experienced, him being next to me, all of it convinced me to spill some secrets.

Obviously, both of us won't tell each other anything so close to us, so close to our tall walls of our hearts , something from within if we were completely in the right set of minds.

The pains of the past, the aches of the stolen life, the ache of today, thirst for an escape.

"What do you have in mind?" I said feeling a bit nervous and picking up the wine and reading the label.

"We finished the one from 1857, do you want to move on to something less expensive and something stronger" he said with such humor in his rich voice.

"1857? You seriously let me take out a bottle that is probably one of your precious things that you cherish?!" I was startled by him not stopping me and being like "That shits expensive, take out something cheap"

"I couldn't and I didn't as a token and a gift" I rolled my eyes when he went on explaining "a token for spilling your secrets and gift for sad Avery"

"Happy Avery would be so mad at you and hey! I'm not the only one spilling secrets you're going to be doing this do or else I'm out" by that time Rhys had already brought two bottles of vodka and two shot glasses.

"I don't back out from things, trust me on this one" he said next to me making himself comfortable and I grabbed the bottle and looked at it as my cold fingers wrapped around its body.

What if I regret this tomorrow?

I didn't know for how long I stared at it, I snapped out of it when Rhys snatched it from my hands.

"Having second thoughts?"He said with two sides to what he must be feeling right now. Humor; to make it easier for me. Acceptance; if I chose not to do this at all and quit.

"I'm just thinking-" I took a deep breath and repeated a new mantras.

This will help me.

This will help me.

This will help me.

This might help me.

This might help us.

Trust him.

"What if we might end up doing something or revealing something that can be potentially held against each other and right now after these drinking, after being so intoxicated we won't stop?" I said it all in such a rushed manner that I didn't know if I were making any sense.

"Something like?" He had a glint in his eye that was gone in a second when I grabbed a shot and immediately drank it.

"Like....oh like! Getting out of this house, stealing a car then going to the national museum, destroy some shit, steal some shit and then get caught? I don't want to go to jail ya know? What else did you have in mind?" Rhys just kept staring at me and then nodded his head slowly.

"That's something I would regret. What I had in mind was that what if we end up at the central park and free some animals" he raised his drink slowly and drank it as he maintained eye contact.
I clear my head and said "How do we begin?"

Rhys

In the front, it may look like I was calm and collected but on the inside I was fully freaking out.