Love Philosophy

Let's talk about S.E.Cross

[ I love this way of referring to sex >.>
I found it from an anime. ]

For having satisfactory sexual intercourse, there are two pre-requirements to be fulfilled.

Firstly, desire to have sex. This is where sexual attraction comes in place. Unless and until the person turns you on, you wouldn't want to have sex.

Secondly, the most important aspect, CONSENT.
A person may be sexually attracted to someone, that doesn't mean he or she will go and have sex.

There are many reasons why one would or wouldn't give their consent.
Each and every human have their own way of viewing sex.

For some it is a means of pleasure, hence they don't mind having one night stands.
Some don't mind using sex as a means of livelihood.

There are also people who view sex as an expression of love. You love someone so much that you would want to express it through touches, hugs, kisses and sex. Nevertheless, even if you don't express it, doesn't mean you don't love the person. One also has to be comfortable with the amount of physical interaction involved.

While there are people who don't mind having sex with someone, who simply turns them on, or whom they have a crush on, or whom they like. Hence end up hooking up or having flings. While these may actually end up into something serious and fruitful.

Some equate sex with commitment.
They expect you to marry them after you have sex. Or, they decide to wait until their marriage.

For some, it's a means to boost their confidence. There are going to be days when they feel depressed, and doing the deed helps them feel better.

Some, have sex for the sake of fulfilling their duty. They may not be sexually attracted to their partner, but still do it anyways. Here, the person isn't willing yet gives consent.

For each their own reason for giving consent.
But whatever the reason is, I believe both the concerned party needs to be honest and clear about it with each other. Or else it leads to unnecessary expectations, and results in one or the other person being hurt.

There are certain communities, where they teach people to equate sex with 'offering', that one is supposed to make to 'only one person' and the person being their future spouse.
Some teach such ideas, specifically targeting women.
I remember, as a child I was always told about 'The leaf and thorn' phrase. It goes as follows,

"Whether a leaf falls on a thorn, or a thorn falls on a leaf, it's always the leaf that's torn".
And for some reason, women are compared to leaves and men to thorn.
This is ridiculous.

Sex isn't a one sided offering. It isn't something, that only men desire and women are supposed to give. It's a mutual act done when both the parties want it.
I have seen women who consider sex as an offering. And when their partner leaves them, they consider themselves defiled, devalued and end in depression. Not for the reason that they lost someone they loved, but for reason, that no one else would want them anymore.(Also applied to men)

There is a bollywood movie scene, where a mother is convincing her daughter to breakup with the man she loves. Then suddenly, she ends up asking "Did he touch you?"
The girl starts howling "He touched my soul! How does it even matter if he touched my body?"

Honestly, that's all that matters.
"Did the person touch your soul or not?"
Though there are people who may not believe in soul. But I hope you get the gist of it.
If you ever open up your mind, thoughts and emotions to someone, that's what matters the most.
And losing such a person, is mortifying. Doesn't matter, if you were physically involved or not.
You will still feel horrible and will require a lot of time in healing yourself.

[ There were few readers who had asked which category did hookup belong to? Is it a wave, tide or hurricane. Hope this chapter makes things clear ^.^]