Love Philosophy

Defence Mechanism

Let's begin with mature defence mechanisms and then gradually dive into immature ones. Keep in mind these aren't limited to breakups alone. Rather, it's used to cope up with all kinds of stress and difficulties that you face in life.

Suppression
This one is the most mature of all methods. Here, you consciously supress your emotions which is followed up subconsciously.
For example: After your breakup- you consciously avoid talking to your ex, avoid everything that reminds you of them, avoid taking their topics. You avoid thinking of them through meditation. And slowly over the time, you miss them less while the memories you share- fades away.

Sublimation
I like this method because of how creative it sounds.
Here, you change your unacceptable impulses into acceptable ones.
Eg. You are a pyromaniac ie. wish to set fire to random stuffs, instead you work under theatre effects- and play with fire in an acceptable way.
You wish to cry all the time but think it's unacceptable? Instead you could watch sad movies and shed tears to your heart's content.

Humor
You joke about the incidents that happened with you. It's honestly a pretty good way to get over a break up. You could laugh over all the blatant lies you foolishly believed.
But again, this depends on the situation you are in.

Anticipation
It means 'hope for a better future'. You anticipate for happier events that's awaiting you. Your ex made you sad? Great! Now you are given another chance where you can find happiness for yourself. You work on your career and on yourself. You vow to become a better human being and live a nicer life.

Altruism
It simply means selflessness. You deal with your stress through acts of kindness. You spend time in orphanges or old age homes. You donate more. You dedicate your time into making others happy and find satisfaction in those deeds.

The reason why we see many people around us, having difficulty in moving on with their lives- is mainly due to them using immature coping up ways. The way you defend yourself happens subconciously. However, you can often identify the methods in retrospect. Mature defences, obviously require a lot of will power and strength. Do not be afraid to take help from your near ones or therapists when such a situation arises.

[I feel so happy resuming Love Philosphy~ Do you feel the same way? If so, vote/comment and let me know ^^
I'll write 'part II' of the previous chapter soon]