Beauty and the High-Functioning Sociopath {#PFCC2k16}

The Stag Night

(A few days earlier)

"Murder scene? Locations of murder?" Molly said, turning to Sherlock.

"Mm, pub crawl, themed." Sherlock said.

"Yeah, but why can't you just do underground stations?" Molly asked, turning back to her work.

"It lacks the personal touch." Sherlock said. "We're going to go for a drink in-"

"Every street where you've found a corpse." Alex finished. She had come with Sherlock. "That's lovely."

"Where do I come in?" Molly asked.

"Don't want to get ill." Sherlock said. "That would spoil the mood."

"You're a graduate chemist. Can't you just figure it out?" Molly asked.

"I like the practical expierience." Sherlock said.

"Meaning that you think I like a drink?" Molly said.

"Occasionally." Sherlock said.

"That I'm a drunk?" Molly said.

"Wow, you nailed that one, Sher." Alex said.

"No. No!" Sherlock said quickly. There was a momen of silence. "You look...well."

"I am." Molly nodded.

"How's...Tom?" Sherlock asked, recalling Molly's boyfriend's name.

"Not a sociopath." Molly said.

"Still? Good." Sherlock said.

"And we're kissing quite a lot." Molly said. Neither Sherlock nor Alex knew how to respond to this.

"Okay...I want you to calculate John's, me, and Alex's intake to remain in the sweet spot the whole evening." Sherlock said. "Lightheaded, good."

"Urinating in wardrobes, bad." Molly said.

"How would you know that?" Alex asked. Molly gave her a look.

"It was Tom, not me." She said.

"Sherlock, you've forgotten two things. One, I don't drink. And two, a bachelor party is just guys." Alex said, turning to her boyfriend.

"You have a guy's name...?" Sherlock said.

"No, Sherlock. I'm not coming." Alex said. "It hasn't been just you and John for a long time."

"Well, that just makes things easier for me." Molly shrugged.

Sherlock got his and John's calculated intakes from Molly. He spent several hours trying to convince Alex to come with, but she wouldn't budge. Secretly, John was a little glad his sister wasn't coming. He loved her to death, but she kind of took his best friend away from him. A few hours later, the stag night had begun.

"Two, er, beers, please." Sherlock said.

"Pints?" The man behind the counter asked.

"Four hundred and fourty-three point seven millitres." Sherlock smiled, holding up the glasses he'd gotten.

The man gave him a look of confusion, but filled them regardless. Sherlock brought them over to John and started the clock on his phone.

"We on a schedule?" John asked.

"You'll thank me." Sherlock said. He clinked glasses with John. "Cheers."

They went to several more pubs before they began to feel a bit tipsy. Sherlock took a selfie with John and sent it to Alex. She was playing Just Dance at the flat, so it took a minute before she saw it. She shook her head and sighed.