Together We Fall

Chapter 64

Chapter Sixty Four

Trace POV

How could she not trust me? She should know me well enough to know that I'd never do anything to hurt her. Never.

No matter how furious I am or how crazy she drives me I'd never wish her any pain. But that was the only thing I saw behind her beautiful hazel eyes last night: pain.

She believes I could go against her to talk with Cole. The scumbag has done enough harm to her, I'd never add to that. If I could take away her doubts then I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I could see something else in her eyes last night too: decision. She decided that I was lying to her. She followed the assumption that Cameron gave her before even talking to me about it.

That hurts.

She blindly trusted him. The person who's done nothing but try and hurt us was able to earn her trust when I couldn't. How is that fair?

Throughout all my life I've been taught not to give out love, because in the end all you receive from it is pain.

I thought Emma was showing me something different. I thought she was proving my past wrong and letting me in on her future. She helped me see clearly. Helped me recognize what happiness truly is. Whenever I'm around her, I feel happier than I've been in a long time.

But now that she's gone I'm just left with what was before her. Loneliness.

I can be in the middle of a crowded room but without her I feel completely and utterly alone. When she isn't around me it's like a piece of myself is missing. When she told me how she felt, a part of my heart was ripped out.

Her not trusting me isn't even what hurts the most. It hurts... but not like her denying to talk to me about it. The fact that she put everything we've built together into the words of a liar is what brings me the most pain.

All she had to do was talk to me about it and we could've sorted everything out. But she took matters into her own hands, she took the step without me even knowing.

I walked out of her house yesterday. I made the decision to leave, but I don't want it to be for forever.

She muttered the words 'don't leave' and my heart shattered. I'd never leave her. We were never even officially dating, but in my mind I considered her my girlfriend. I hadn't asked her out yet, but I was planning on it.

But for right now we've both got some thinking to do. If she wants me back like I hope she will, then I'll take her back instantly. I know how I feel about her. I just think she's still got a few decisions to make.

But she's hurt me so if she wants me back I won't make it easy for her. I want her to fight for me like I've been doing for her since we met.

I want her to want me like I want her. I need her to know how I feel and feel the same way. If she doesn't then we won't be able to move forward.

My alarm clock interrupts my thoughts with it's ringing.

Ugh.

It's time for school.

If I didn't have exams or the kids then I'd just stay here. I'd get some sleep.

I've been up since two in the morning thinking of Emma.

She's the center of my every thought. It all comes back to her.

I slap the alarm and it shuts up.

As soon as I kick the blanket off I decide that I'm not getting dressed. Already I feel drained and I haven't done anything except stand up.

It was cold last night, I'm still figuring out how to work the apartments thermostat, so I slept in sweat pants and a black hoodie. And I'm not changing. The cold air will sting my body.