Chapter 9

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Sebastian's pov

I knew form the pretty beginning the blood that ran through my veins was a curse left for me by my father. What sucked the most was the fact that I was not even the child he had with his destined mate.

'HE IS ILLEGITIMATE!' was the only thing that everyone said when they first met me, the council also took its own sweet time because of this for acknowledging me as an alpha in the first place. Many people mocked that because of this and said I will not have a mate. I always questioned myself if I would make a good mate in the first place.

But now that I have met Bella, I want to atleast try. I want all those things a normal person can have. I wanted to love and be loved by her. But why does it seem impossible? Why does she look at me like I was a monster, refused to talk.

The demon's of my own past keep on eating me up over and over again.

I just looked at the Raging thunderstorm outside and drifted off to sleep.

(Next day)

I got up and got ready. Today was a new day and a new beginning for me with Bella. It was a day off and I wanted to spend it with her. Get her to open up a little bit.

After having breakfast I stopped her from going away. 'Bella, un wait, where are you going?' I asked her.

'To the training arena or the office.' she said in a monotone voice. 'BUT today is a day off, you don't have to go.' I said to her. She just nodded and was about to head back upstairs when I suddenly held her hand and turned her around. She looked like a mixture of surprised and scared and I let go of her hand  immedietly. I made her uncomfortable! Why was such an idiot?

'I... I actually wanted to take you somewhere.' I said to her. 'Where?' she asked me. 'Just around the pack. Nothing more. Will you come?' I asked nervously. She nodded.

I smiled and led her forward. We walked through the pack and many people saw us, but no one approached. They had the Clee message to give the alpha and luna some alone time.

'This way.' I said and led her towards my favourite spot. The pack River and the area around it. It was a really relaxing place where I would come a lot of times to spend time alone.

She looked a little amazed by it. I could see a little smile on her face. I grinned. 'One baby step forward.' I thought. 'Do you like it?' I asked her.

'I love it! we actually had a place so similar in my pack which I would visit all the....' she began speaking getting all excited but then turned to look at me and suddenly stopped and her smile vanished as well.

I sighed. Its okay, Sebastian M, its okay. I told myself. Babysteps!

She started observing the scenario and I went ahead to go get her surprise.

I took in my hand and placed it on her head. It was a crown actually, made from the most beautiful flowers in the pack.

She was surprised and touched it

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She was surprised and touched it. She removed it saw and I could see she liked it. 'This is beautiful.' she whispered. I took it and placed on her head again, 'No, you are beautiful, you are the factor which makes this beautiful.' I said and she looked shocked. I took her hand and kissed only this time she was awake.

She looked a little bit confused and looked down.

'One day I want you to look at me, straight into my eyes, whenever, wherever because the only thing my eyes want to stare at for an eternity are those two shining stars on your face where I see my entire universe  above your cute little nose.' I said to her and she looked at me again with an unreadable expression. We just stood there and staring at each other.

A moment where I felt vulnerable and exposed and she stood guarded. A moment where I thought all my cards were right in front of her to see but I could not see them. A moment where I thought she held my entire heart and I was still trying to reach for hers.

She suddenly looked away. Like she was denying something. Debating about something. Fighting with herself. 'I need to go.' she whispered and walked away.

Leaving me standing over there.

I am not a monster mate. I am just, all yours. There is so much more in my heart which I want you to see, but everytime I want to reach out, you seem to be running away.

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