Missing Piece

39. Reality

Yesterday had been the first night I, purposely, fell asleep alongside Matt.
The next morning we decided to go for a walk, maybe we could go to a lake or something. We walked down a path, trees protecting us from the warm sun.
"This is nice." I felt the wind brush my hair.
Matt couldn't keep his eyes off me. "Nice indeed."
And so we walked for a while until Matt suddenly spoke, frowning. "Something is wrong, I can sense it."
I was about to make a comment on how he claimed he could 'sense' something and that it didn't make any sense. But then I too noticed something was off. "What do you hear?"
"Nothing." My suspicion was confirmed.
"Exactly, nothing. Where are the birds and the other creatures?"
Matt was about to open his mouth when a dozen of armed men jumped from the tree-line. Rebels.
Matt took his blaster and started shooting, as did the rebels. He tried to shoot the rebels whom attacked me.
While I tried to fight them with my bare hands.
But there were too much of them. Matt had to defend himself as they started to surround him.
And without Matt's protection, the rebels dared to close in on me.
One of them grabbed me from behind and held an odd smelling fabric in front of my mouth and nose. Slowly everything turned black. Before I fainted, I could hear Matt yell in the distance.

I woke up in a bright room, in a seat, at both sides a rebel with a blaster.
In front of me sat an ageing woman. She looked pretty for an elder woman, I guessed she must have been beautiful when she was young.
I tried to stand up, but the guards pushed me back down. I glanced at both of them.
They didn't reply, so I decided to interact with the woman instead. "Who are you? Why are you keeping me captive?"'
The woman waved the guards away, they took place next to the door. "I am Leia Organa. We are keeping you captive because you might have some useful information. We recognised your ship."
I barely stopped my mouth from dropping open.
Thé general Leia Organa?! As if fate wants me to meet both of Kylo's parents.
Kylo's mother or not, I had to protect the First Order. "I won't tell you anything." I sat back in my seat, stubbornly.
"I need you to-..." Leia stopped mid sentence and just stared at the unknown.
"You need me to?" Of course, I was too curious.
"My son, he's here..."
"Your son? You must have two then, because your son is with the First Order. What is this for nonsense? Do you think you can fool me? What is this for weird interrogation?!" I figured it must have been some off strategy. I wasn't going to fall for it. "It does nothing to me, Kylo doesn't mean anything to me."
Leia looked at me again. "You care about him... he cares about you too, I can sense it..."
I took the small blaster Armitage had secretly given me, and shot the two guards without hesitation.
  Leia was about to take her blaster, but I shot it out of her hands within the blink of an eye. Organa held her hands up and made calming gestures, just like Han had done towards Kylo. "You're familiarly fast," she noted.
  I knew what I had to do to get out of here, out of this madness, to both help Matt and save Kylo from his past.
But I couldn't.
  "You don't want to kill me..."
  I focused and pointed my blaster at her again. "You don't know what I want!"
  Leia shushed. "Shht, that's true. But I have a feeling you don't either."
  A shadow of Kylo kept taunting my mind. I lowered my blaster. "I won't kill you."
  Leia lowered her arms. "See, you're not evil, you're a good person."
  "You don't get to tell me what I am and what I am not. Look what happened to Ben. I won't kill you, because it isn't my decision to make. It's Kylo's. So be grateful to him, not me. I'm no one, I just follow orders."
  Before I could decide what to do next, Matt entered the room, blaster in hand. He seemed like he had just shot his way in, and had fought a dozen of people. With sweat on his forehead, and hair like a deranged animal. And again, that weirdly attractive look of protectiveness.
  "Don't you dare touch her." Matt gritted his teeth, his free fist clenched.
  I walked backwards, not letting Leia leave my view, to take place next to Matt.  
  "Don't worry, everything is under control. General Organa was just about to leave, right?" I turned to Leia.
  She didn't seem like she wanted to leave, her face was pale, shocked even.
  "Right?!"
  Leia woke up from her shock. "Come with me, before it's too late." Her tone sounded desperate, yet also commanding.
  I didn't share any of those emotions, I was filled with confusion.
What is all this about?!
"It's already too late." Matt's voice appeared to be breaking any moment now, so fragile...
Before I could ask what was going on, Matt shot the door lock with his blaster.
A door separated me and Matt from Leia.
I feistily turned to Matt. My confusion was replaced by frustration. The situation had gotten really intense and I didn't even have the slightest idea of what was happening. "What just happened in there?" I wrapped my hands around my head, pacing. "What's going on?! What are you not telling me?"
  Matt kept staring at the door, at the place where Leia just stood.
  "Matt?!!"
  Matt zapped up from his thoughts. "Uhm, what?"
  I threw my hands up in the air. "Unbelievable." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "What. are. you. not. telling. me?" I pronounced word for word.
  "Nothing. We need to go back. There are more of them to come." Matt was about to walk away.
  My agitation turned into dispair, and I grabbed his forearm. "Matt, please. I can't help you, if you don't let me." I gazed straight into his eyes, searching for any kind of emotion in those dark pits.
  Matt seemed his old self again, his walls built up high, another story ready. "Organa has always cared for me, because I'm her son's only friend. But she thinks my current occupation and stay at the First Order rather complicates the matter."
  It sounded like the truth. I wished it was the truth. But deep down I already knew it wasn't. However, I kept holding onto my old mantra, something that had helped me through my childhood. 'If you believe in something hard enough, it will appear to be real.' And right now, I needed it to be.
  I let go of Matt's arm. "Let's go."