Missing Piece

51. No going back

There it was, the moment I would betray Kylo Ren. No one had ever managed to do so, I would be the first. If I succeed of course, but I already knew I would. There was no reason as to why not, but why did I feel so bad then?
Deep down I wanted to see Matt one last time, even though I knew I couldn't. I shrugged the feeling off and headed to the docks.

After having entered Ren's TIE Silencer, I opened the small bag with kyberdust and scattered its containment around the ship.
Once the fight against the rebels would commence, Kylo wouldn't be able to use his powers.
The powder would disable his connection to the Force for as long as he stayed in this certain area. The space just large enough for the rebels to overpower him, if they didn't allow him to leave the area during battle.
Now it was time to switch the lightsabers and tell Ren about this 'secret rebel base' I had found on the radars. I had no plan for switching the sabers, so I would have to improvise.

Kylo wasn't hard to find, he seemed to be looking for someone on the docks as well.
I put my upset-face on and coughed, gaining his attention.
Kylo was about to speak, when I interrupted him. "Commander, I found a rebel base on a small moon at the edge of the Outer Rim!"
I saw his posture change to an alarmed state. "I will go there immediately."
I followed him to his TIE Whisper, trying figure up a plan on how to switch the lightsabers. Ren's was currently attached to his belt. Wait a sec- TIE Whisper!
"Ehm Kylo, why don't you use your TIE Silencer?"
If Ren'd use the ship without the kyberdust, my plan would be doomed to fail.
Kylo's head turned to me with slight confusion. "Because I won't need the heavy artillery of the Silencer, the Whisper will do. Why do you ask?"
Come on, think of something! Anything will do.
"Because I think the Silencer looks more bold, impressive, and unparalleled even. You'd be more imposing if you fly the Silencer instead of the Whisper. What's wrong with both serving the First Order ánd impressing me, huh?"
Okay, anything but that. Now I sound like a fangirl.
"So you think I'm imposing?" I could hear a mocking undertone in his voice as his height towered over mine, taking me down in shadows.
Okay, I'll play the game.
"Yes , very imposing, Commander. The 'I sweep people off their feet,' kind of imposing," I flirted mockingly. "Now the question is, are they swooned or dead?" I teased.
We both couldn't suppress a small chuckle.
  "Okay, I'll take the Silencer. If that pleases you." Then he turned more serious. "I... need to tell you something (Y/n), something I should have confessed to you a long time ago..."
  Of course, me with my brain focused on switching the lightsabers and not getting caught, couldn't multitask and thereby notice what Kylo was hinting at.
  And they call me the genius.
  "I'll be all ears when you come back, then we'll have time enough."
  Kylo nodded a tad disappointed.
He was about to turn around when I finally crafted a plan on how to switch the lightsabers. It was pathetic, but better than nothing. I gave Kylo a hug, not Matt, no, Kylo.
First he was stunned, utterly overwhelmed by my sudden reaction. He had never expected to be embraced, not as Ren. But then he gave in to the familiar feeling of sweet intoxication, and carefully hugged back, inhaling the comforting scent of my shampoo and perfume.
I unnoticeably took the replica from my pocket and switched it with his lightsaber.
There is no going back.
When I stepped back, Kylo expectantly shifted his weight from foot to foot.
Oh how he looks like Matt... he is Matt.
My voice almost broke. "Good luck."
Kylo nodded in my direction. "I promise to handle this situation as quick as possible... I can't wait to see you again." He tried to keep himself together, and not simply confess everything altogether. The gods knew he could bear this lie no longer. The desire to be with (Y/n) outweighed every restriction, call and insecurity. He wanted to shout it of the rooftops, yell it in the Supreme Leader's face, he was in love with (Y/n) and couldn't care what the First Order or his family thought about it.
I sent Kylo a smile, even though I was being torn apart from the inside. "Yeah, see you soon..."

I saw how the TIE Silencer flew off, on its way to my trap.
I took my comm. "He's on his way, be prepared. And remember, don't let him leave the ship. Otherwise he will gain his powers back." I placed it back down.
The ship grew smaller and smaller in the distance, leaving a pitch-black sky behind, not even the stars decided to share their dances of ethereal light.
The deep, dark, temptation of infinity reminded me of his eyes.