Prakriti (Mahabharata)

Chapter 25

Prakriti P.O.V

We started living in the Dwaitavana, serving saints and rishis available there, changing our routine from being Royals to sages. We spent months in that Vana, I could see Krishne getting anxious day by day remembering the time of game of dice. I consoled her so many times but you can not just erase the memories. One warm evening, after finishing our work and serving the sages we were siting around the house, Elder Brother and Twins sat on the step of asrama. Brother Bhima was sitting under a tree few distance away in grim silence. Arya sat beyond Brother Bhima and skimmed flat stones across the placid lake. I was in the asrama getting our bed ready for the night time. I saw Krishne walking towards Elder Brother and sat beside him, suddenly she started crying, her body raked with sobs. I looked at her in alarm and stop my work. "What is it, Panchali? Why are you crying?" Elder Brother asked in concern while I stayed in my place and listened on the conversation. "How long must I bear seeing you like this, Arya? The lord of the earth living in the forest like a hermit. It breaks my heart, every day, each moment it breaks my heart! And I marvel that you can be so calm. Have you forgotten who you are? Or perhaps you think no misfortune has befallen us? Oh, how do you deceive yourself like this? I cannot stand it any more" she said, pain pouring from her voice in waves. Before Elder Brother could respond to her, she started again. 

"Look at Aryaputra Bhima. He hardly eats or sleeps anymore and doesn't say a word to any of us. All day, he sits with that hopeless look on his face. His listlessness is despair wearing a mask; bit by bit, it consumes your brother. I fear he will die if he goes on like this. Every moment he is just waiting for revenge, he thinks of nothing else" her form trembled as she spewing all the pent up anger and frustration out. "Look at Arya Arjuna, my lord. The Kshatriya who has no equal in the world sits skimming stones across the lake. For hours, he sits like that. Perhaps you haven't noticed, since you are so busy gleaning wisdom from the rishis" she said, tears streaming down her cheeks, I sighed, I know she is upset for what happened and on our fate but Elder Brother can't do anything about it. I stood up from my seat and walked towards Krishne and stand before her. "Krishne, I know you are frustrated with the situation but letting your anger out on Elder Brother is not justified" I said in soft voice, she looked at me "Then who should I talk to if I can't talk to my husband" she said, I took a long breath and stayed there in silence, she is right, if she can't share her problems and dilemma with her husband then where will she go.

She turned her gaze back to Elder Brother "Look at our fruit-pickers and water-carriers, Arya Nakula and Sahadeva. Look at Prakriti, she is the General Secretary of Indraprastha and she is here making beds of straws for us. Yet, Arya Yudhishtira you go about wearing a smile, as if none of this affects you: not the loss of your kingdom, your brothers' sorrow or Prakriti or mine. You are quite content in the jungle, why, you seem happier here than you were in Indraprastha. No thought of revenge moves you, or even of taking back what they stole from us. You are a kshatriya, but this isn't how a kshatriya behaves" her eyes blazed with anger she cries those word out. Elder Brother remained calm, for a while he didn't respond to Krishne, he just looked at the front towards the nature. "Precious Panchali, do you really think I don't see how you suffer and how my brothers suffer, how Prakriti is suffering? Is that what you think of me: that I am insensitive to your pain, when you are dearer to me than life itself? Do you think I feel no anguish at what happened in Hastinapur? That I feel no anger, no shame. Then, surely, you feel I am heartless: worse than our enemies" he responded finally without losing his calm. "I gave my word in Hastinapur: for better or for worse, whether I was cheated at dice or not. Draupadi, to break my word is against my dharma. I will suffer if I do and those dear to me, no one else" he said trying to make Krishne understand but she was not consoled, from the look on her face, it looked like she is getting angry than before.