Chapter 55

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By the time I wake up, Miles is gone. Thinking we'd sleep here together until the morning seemed logical last night but now I realize how naïve I truly must be. 

The way I felt with him last night was something I've only experienced with him and the thought of that not being the case for him makes me feel sick to my stomach but I know that Miles and I are different. He has been with many different girls and I'm nowhere close to being anything special to him even if he did say he liked me. 

I grab my toiletry bag and head to the showers, I need some time to think—some time alone. I didn't expect it to happen again, being with Miles is always so unplanned, it's never stable. At the moment everything feels amazing, but afterward, it feels like nothing has changed. 

I want Miles to suddenly appear back in my dorm with my favorite coffee but instead, after my shower, no one is there. The makeup I had on last night completely disappeared in the shower. I grab a hairbrush and gently brush through my thick and dark hair before hearing the door open.

"You ready baby girl?" Miles asks to my surprise and I nod before brushing a wand of mascara through my lashes and putting on my favorite earrings—small hoops. 

It feels weird that he's here to see me and not Chrissy. He takes my hand in his and I smile. Holding his hand feels good, it makes my mind go completely blank in a good way. 

Before, I was convinced that this boy in all black didn't have any feelings but now, seeing his hand hold mine; I know there's something deeper behind his dull gaze. As we walk down the hall and into the main area of the building I can't help the feeling of everyone's eyes on us.

"Someone started spreading rumors." He says but doesn't look at me. Our hands hold tightly as we continue walking. I look at a few girls in front of us, they look at us with envy, almost as if they'd kill to be with Miles.

"The trick is to stare at them until they look away." He says. He always knows how to handle every imperfect situation so perfectly. We enter the classroom and it feels so different. 

The air is quiet and it feels like everyone knows—know about us. As soon as we walk deep enough into the classroom Miles abruptly lets go of my hand. We sit down together in the lecture hall with the familiar red carpeting. 

The professor begins his lesson but I can't focus on what he's saying all I can think about is last night and the way Miles touched me. It's almost as if his fingers have a magic power over me; a power so strong that I can't get enough no matter what I do.

"I need to go," Miles says all of a sudden. Unsure of what to do I give him a small nod. I don't know how I feel about being left here all alone especially with the number of eyes on me but since I have no choice I might as well take Miles advice; Look at them until they look away. 

I look at a blonde sitting a little further from me, her eyes gawking at me. I look at her but she doesn't look away instead she tilts her head, "Madison?!" she says loudly over the class.

"Excuse me?" the professor says, staring right at her.

"Sorry." She giggles before quickly and quietly moving to sit next to me. I look at her for a brief second before realizing it's Stephanie.

"Stephanie." I smile.

"I didn't realize you went to this class," I say and she nods.

"I needed extra credit since I just got to this school." She shrugs with a small giggle.

"Which school were you in?" I ask.

"ASU, in Arizona." She smiles and I nod.

"That's really nice," I say.

"It wasn't too bad."

"Class dismissed!" We hear the professor say and both turn around with giggles.

"Well that's perfect, want to grab coffee?" she asks, flipping her short blonde hair away from her face.

"Sure." I smile as we both stand up.


THE COFFEE SHOP at school is crowded but yet we manage to get ourselves two cups of iced coffee.

"So how do you know Miles?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"I don't other than being his girlfriend for two months back in the day." She giggles.

"But don't worry, I'm not in to him at all anymore." She says waving her hands in front of her.

"Oh." Is all I manage to say.

"He's not even my type anymore, I have my own hunk." She giggles and I smile.

"I heard the rumors." She admits and I let out a deeper breath than intended.

"I'm on your side, I really like you guys together." She smiles.

"Thank you, I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole thing," I say before sipping my cold coffee.

"I hope you get it all straight, being with Miles can be chaos, at least in my case." She says and my stomach turns. I don't know how I feel about her having been with him even though I don't have the right to feel this way.

"Do you know when Mr. Staffod is having the next test?" she asks as we walk down the large steps.

"Yeah, Friday."

"Shoot, I'll see you around, I better get to studying." She explains and I smile before she leaves. As I walk towards my dorm I feel my phone vibrating a few times.

Miles: "I'm taking you out tonight."

Miles: "Picking you up at six

My stomach flutters at the message and my cheeks start turning warm. I quickly go into the school bathroom and fix my makeup before heading towards my dorm again. Chrissy sits there by her desk as I walk inside. 

My heart races, I have no idea what to say or how to act. I haven't seen her since yesterday and since then—everything has changed.

"Madison, you're back?" she asks, turning around slowly.

"Yeah, class just ended," I tell her and she smiles.

"Right." She smiles.

"I'm sorry, this should be awkward but it is." She chuckles before sitting down on her bed, gesturing for me to sit down next to her.

"I'm sorry." I sit down.

"I know but you shouldn't have to be." She smiles awkwardly.

"I'm just . . . I've been such a wreck since I found out. I mean, the whole school knows the new couple." She breathes and I can't help my heart from aching at the sound of her voice. I've hurt my best friend, I've hurt Jacob and I'll end up hurting everyone I care about.

"The last thing I want is for this to be awkward between us."

"Really? You don't care?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No, and I'm sorry too." She says but I shake my head.

"No Chrissy, you're not the one that should be sorry," I explain but she looks at me with glossy eyes.

"I haven't been a very good friend recently, you went through something terrible with Hayden and I just left, and yesterday you got into that truth or dare circle because of me, because I left you there—"

"Chrissy, no, I'm the one that should be apologizing." I sigh.

"Maybe we've both just been terrible to each other." She sighs with a smile and we both chuckle.

"I forgive you." She says.

"Me too," I say even though I have nothing to forgive her for.

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