Night Disease

Chapter 57

I haven't felt this empty in a long time, it's kind of nice not having all those thoughts circulating in my head. My mind is quiet no feelings no thoughts just peace and silence. Walking, what is walking? I can't feel anything, my body is numb, I can't feel my feet hit the ground or the air in my lungs. Why do my lungs still move if I am dead? Why does my heart still beat when it once stopped?

With all these questions but no answers, my mind is now quiet.

I forget to breathe, how can one forget to breathe? Breathing is the mind's job, and my mind is quiet. I breathe again in-out, so easy but so much work why won't my mind breathe?

Blood, my body wants it but my mind does not. You should listen to your mind blood makes monsters you are not a monster. 

I don't need blood.

Where am I going? Why am I walking again? I don't know I don't need to know, my mind is quiet.

Footsteps don't I know those footsteps? Who was outside with me again? Michal, but Michal is dead, I killed him. Eric and Damon but they were inside not outside I don't know those footsteps.

There's a hand on my shoulder, who's hand is on my shoulder? Turning around Damon stands behind me hand on my shoulder I did know those footsteps. He watches me concerned or at least I think concerned I don't know my mind is quiet. "You okay?" he asks concerned.

Remember to smile people know you are fine if you smile "yes Dam I am fine." Good job you spoke now people know you are fine.

Damon watches me searching my eyes "you sure we don't know what Michal said back there but it seemed bad."

I nod "I am fine I dealt with Michal." Voice even smile on you are fine.

He nods slowly his hand swinging at his side, when did he take his hand off my shoulder? "Eric left to talk with the Base Commander do you want to pick up Enya early?"

Enya, is now safe but others want to hurt her, I must keep her safe. Others want to hurt my friends I must keep them safe. Looking at Damon I nod with a bright smile "let's go get Enya she might be bored."

Damon smiles slowly observing my attire "you might want to change first you are covered in blood."

Looking at myself I nod "I will shower can you watch Enya well I shower?" Blood means monster I am not a monster, no blood.

He smiles a little more "I can come on I will walk you to the showers." Damon walks in front of me a slight skip in his step. He thinks I am fine you are fine I am not a monster my mind is quiet.     Damon bows in front of the girl's bathroom door "your stop my lady."

I snicker bowing back "thank you, kind sir." When did we get here? When did we get inside? I don't know, my mind is quiet. Damon leaves me alone in the hall as he goes to get Enya. No one is in the bathroom when I enter not that I care I am finally at peace.

Taking my normal stall I remove my clothes placing them on top of my bag. I don't know what temperature I turned the shower to just that I am under the water. I watch the black and red water disappear down the drain. The black is so prominent against the concrete floor as it mixes with the red. I used to find my black blood pretty after I turned now it proves that I am forever part monster, a disease.

Quickly scrubbing at my arms, legs, chest, and back clear water soon flows down the drain. Dried and dressed I am out of the bathroom making my way to Enya's classroom. No sound comes from my feet as I move no sound has after I turned. Two presences come into my radar moving quickly in my direction. Ignoring them I focus on nothing moving on autopilot as I bask in the blissful quiet my mind provides.