41. Keya

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The four corners of my apartment became way too small ever since my son arrived, toys are everywhere on the floor and he's been running around. It's quite chaotic, but I don't mind it! I love my son and I miss him so much that I just wanted him to stay here with me. However, my life situation at the moment is pretty busy due to graduate school and my job. I haven't sorted out my life yet which made me unable to take care of him and let him stay here in Dallas with me until we fly back to England.

I settled on the couch at the little balcony with my mom looking at my sister and son settling themselves on the couch about to watch tv.

"He's turning three... Time flies so fast." I said. "It feels like yesterday he was just still in my belly and now look at him!"

I heard my mom chuckles and sigh.

"Trust me my love, that is also what I have been feeling every time I look at you and your sister and brother."

"Is it scary mom? Or like, hard perhaps?"

"That is always a part of being a mother Keya." My mom started. "You always find it hard to think about your children leaving you to go build their own life somewhere. However, all you have to do is to cherish and savor every single moment you're with them because indeed... Time flies so fast!"

After hearing that from my mom I couldn't help but release another long sigh again and then smiled right after thinking that I am way too panicky and advanced to think about my son growing up and leave me to go have his own life in the future. I mean, come on he is just still two, turning three in a few days!

"Anyway dear, can you now tell me about my grandson's father?" My mom asked totally changing the topic. "What are his plans? I presume you two have been talking about it."

I don't want to answer it.
Damn! Why do I always find myself complicating things? The guiltiness is growing inside about lying to Tyler, but you can't blame me! I have trauma's caused by him, I don't trust him to be a good father to Sky even though right at the moment he is showing me thoughtfulness and sweet gestures. But that won't ever buy me! We're talking about my son here, I am already not the only one who is involved.

And yet, what I did was selfishness...

"Mom, I have a confession to tell..." I started because I have been lying to every one already and I don't want to lie to my own mother.

As I was about to start my confession, I suddenly heard my son crying which diverted all of our attentions away from our conversation.

"What's going on in there like?" I said standing up and went to my son and carry him. "What happened? What did your aunt do?"

"Absolutely nothing!" My sister Kelsey answered, but I ignored her and asked my son again.

With his most innocent sweet voice he answered. "I want to watch ice!"

"Ice?"

He nodded. "I want to watch people running on the ice!"

"What does that even mean?" I repeated, completely confused.

"He meant this!" My sister Kelsey answers my question by switching the television into a sports channel which is currently airing a hockey game. "A hockey game!"

And I can really see that my son was really into it since he immediately demanded me to put him down and ran to the couch back again and watch television.

"Hockey!!"

I felt an instant horror on what I have seen!

"Who taught him about that sport?" I asked.

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