Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 51

Wei Wuxian stood right in the middle of the room and was at a loss about what to do. Sure, Lan Wangji had just told him to come to rest and he did not want to do anything but that. His nerves and emotions were still very much in turmoil and it was, in combination with his fever which suddenly seemed to flare, making him tired beyond belief.

He should not be like this, he had not done any of his duties today and only had his masters look after him. He did literally nothing aside for playing with A-Yuan and he felt ashamed of himself. It would not do if he became a burden to the Lans. Once they would realize this, they would surely ship him right back to the Lotus Pier Manor. That was the last thing Wei Wuxian wanted.

He had gotten the taste of kindness and care, of his masters' benevolence, he did not want to go back to what he had known for almost his whole life. He knew he was being selfish and unreasonable, it was not like he could decide what he wanted to do, but he still could not convince himself to just let go and forget everything. Especially not when his masters were being this benevolent to him over and over again. If this continued, he would get used to it.

The simple possibility of this was making him terrified more than anything. If he would lose his painfully learned self-preserving instincts and stop expecting the worst from everyone, he would be the one hurt in the end.

"Wei Ying, do you want to change?" came a question from Lan Wangji and it finally drew Wei Wuxian back to reality.

Finally, he had something else to focus on, he could just follow his master's orders. That was the safest thing he could do at this moment. He would of course have to figure everything out later. However, right now, there was nothing more urgent on his mind that to listen to Lan Wangji and go change.

Mostly automatically, Wei Wuxian picked up the white sleeping robe from the bed and went to change behind a privacy screen. He did not want offend his master by looking at his half naked body, Lan Wangji did not seem to be someone who would appreciate this kind of thing.

He changed as quickly as possible and went out from behind the privacy screen. Lan Wangji saved him from feeling insecure about his next action when he pointed towards the bed. Wei Wuxian was only too happy to comply, his body was starting to shake from feeling cold and he was stifling a yawn. Truly, had the morning already tired him out to this degree?

He crawled into the bed and pulled the cover over himself. He was not sure what else he should do so he only remained sitting there, feeling immediately warmer and incredibly comfortable in the soft covers. He watched his master attentively, trying to figure out what was supposed to happen next.

"Wait a little bit before going to sleep, you should still take your medicine. Do you want to read until the medicine arrives?"

Wei Wuxian's eyes went wide with surprise. Was he actually getting some more medicine? He knew that those were very costly and he was not worth it. Madame Yu had said it every time he had not been feeling well in the past. Nor had he gotten any in other households, usually his sickness or fevers went away soon enough so there was really no need to trouble his masters to give him any medicine. Though, he was not about to refuse, it would make Lan Wangji sad.

As for the second part of his master's speech, Wei Wuxian was not surprised there anymore. After all, Lan Wangji had said earlier that he had taken the book from the library for him to read later. It seemed like that time had come right now.

Wei Wuxian quickly nodded his head, he really wanted to continue reading the interesting story the book was telling. He could still not properly process he would actually be able to finish it but he did not mind. On the contrary, he was ecstatic to be offered such an unparalleled gift. Lan Wangji was truly the best master, one whose existence Wei Wuxian would not believe to be true if he had not seen him with his own eyes and had not experienced his benevolence and kindness first hand.

He was not even surprised anymore when it was Lan Wangji who went to fetch the book for him. It seemed like most of the time, their roles were reversed: the master was the one taking care of the servant. No matter how impossible that sounded, it was the truth. Lan Wangji was in fact taking such a good care of Wei Wuxian that he was once again suspecting all of this to only be a dream.

It was not though. When his master passed him the book, their fingers brushed for the shortest of moments. It was however proof enough for Wei Wuxian that this was reality. The sensation left him feeling all tingly and good, the ghost of warmth on his fingers lingered for a while after his master retracted his hand already. Lan Wangji was truly taking care of him and he could not find it in himself to reject this kindness.

He tried to at least thank the other for everything by bowing but once again, Lan Wangji stopped him before he even finished the motion: "No bowing." Wei Wuxian straightened himself immediately.

He felt a little awkward with having no other way to show his gratitude. He was musing about trying to speak again. The simple thought of it was making his throat already close up and he knew it was still impossible for him to talk aloud to his master. He sighed internally and decided he would try to practice more for the next time an opportunity would arise, he definitely wanted to thank Lan Wangji for everything he had done for him.

He felt his master watching him attentively and he could not bear it. It seemed like Lan Wangji was able to see right into his extremely vulnerable and raw self. It would not be a bad thing, Wei Wuxian was sure this particular master would never use it against him. Still, it did not feel too comfortable, better to busy himself with something else.

The book in his hands was seemingly vibrating, inviting him to open it where he had left off and continue reading the story. There was no reason Wei Wuxian should not do that, after all, his master gave him permission by handing him the book himself. He carefully turned the pages until he found the right one. Then, he knew nothing more about the happenings in his room, the story was truly fascinating and was drawing him in. He hungrily devoured every word.