Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 80

Wei Wuxian was sitting on his bed and looking at Jiang Yanli with no small amount of confusion. It was not fear as he was sure that his sister knew just how terrified he was of going back to Lotus Pier and if she had come to talk to him about this topic, her expression would have looked different. She would have been broken-hearted for him and would immediately start consoling him. She was not doing anything like that now however, so what she came to tell him must have been definitely something else.

This at least reassured Wei Wuxian a little bit. Of course, there were countless other topics that he had no desire to talk about and also any other things which would be unpleasant if as much as mentioned. But still, from Jiang Yanli's expression, he guessed that at least she thought he would like the conversation that would follow. Despite everything, Wei Wuxian's fears did not disappear completely, for that, his sister was looking way too serious. He could not tell at all what was about to be the topic of conversation.

He did not inquire anything and just waited for Jiang Yanli to start talking. His sister knew fully well to not expect him to initiate a conversation. Although right now, he felt like he would be able to actually talk to her, unlike when he could not have gotten his out voice earlier with Lan Wangji. That did not mean anything though, he would still only be able to answer her questions if she had any, not tell her anything himself.

He was surprised when Jiang Yanli reached into her robes instead of talking immediately and took something out. Wei Wuxian stopped examining her face, he would not learn anything more anyway, and he looked at the item she was holding. He saw it was actually the bottle of medicine that he had gotten from the doctor to treat the injuries on his hands, long forgotten by him since this morning. He did not think he needed it anymore, the pain was faint and perfectly bearable by now. Nothing he could not handle; he had known far worse.

This did not stop Jiang Yanli from opening the bottle and gently prompting him: "A-Xian, show me your hands."

He did as he was told, his sister would not take it If he did not take care of himself when he could. Jiang Yanli started applying the medicine exceedingly gently and even if Wei Wuxian had thought that he did not need it, it was actually working wonders and the pain went away as if by magic. At once, he was glad that his sister had insisted and that his master had been so kind to provide him with medicine. His only concern was that he was getting used to the spoiling way too quickly and did not know how he should stop himself.

As Jiang Yanli was applying the medicine, she continued in a low voice, full of hidden pain. Only years of listening to such a tone helped Wei Wuxian recognize it. "A-Xian, you should take better care of yourself now. You are not in the Lotus Pier Manor anymore, everything will be better now. The Lans will treat you well."

Wei Wuxian could not tell why she was saying those words. He knew it very well himself already. At the same time, he could not understand how she could not see that it was precisely why he could not get used to kindness. He would have to go back home one day or another and if he let himself slip too far, he would not be able to continue living like before. He would make many mistakes and it would hurt only that much more to be punished after knowing Lan Wangji's benevolence and kindness.

While he could enjoy those oh so sweet moments here in the Cloud Recesses Manor, he should never forget his true place. That could be disastrous. He did not even want to think about what Madame Yu or even Uncle Jiang would say if he suddenly not behaved properly as they expected of him. He was supposed to help his family by earning money. And he could only do that when he was obedient and hard-working. After all, who would want to pay for services of a spoiled and rebellious servant?

Jiang Yanli finished putting the healing salve on his hands, closed the small bottle and looked directly at him. Wei Wuxian saw she was even more serious than before. But also strangely hopeful. That was a very curious mix of emotions that she was showing him. She took hold of his hands, only their backs, not the palms where the medicine was applied.

"A-Xian," she continued, "I need you to listen to me very carefully now. I am not sure what exactly the Lans had told you, but let me explain to you what they promised to me. You are not here as a servant, you are supposed to be Lan Wangji's companion, his equal. You will even study with him and accompany him wherever he goes. You are now one of their own family. And they promised to protect you."

Wei Wuxian was staring at her with a blank expression. He had heard all of that from the mouths of his masters – aside for the studying part though, he would have to take longer to understand what exactly this was about – but when it came from Jiang Yanli's lips, he was still shocked. His sister knew not to ignite any futile hope in his heart. So what was she doing telling him all of this? Could it be, that she was thinking the Lans were actually not going to go back on their word like Wei Wuxian's previous masters?

"They know what my family did to you and they are already on their way to investigate everything. You will never have to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor. You will stay here in the Cloud Recesses Manor and never have to be beaten or punished unjustly. The Lans will take care of you and you will be able to finally live a normal life. You will be free to choose your own future."

There were now tears in Jiang Yanli's eyes and she started crying again. A huge smile still remained on her lips though. She looked so convinced that what she was saying was the truth Wei Wuxian could not find even a speck of hesitation in either her voice or her eyes. He was split between fearing she was lying to him to placate him and hoping her words and also the promises he had gotten from the Lans would actually come true. How impossible was this though? There was no way they would want to let him stay in the Cloud Recesses Manor for long; Lan Qiren did not like him, surely he would not extend an open invitation like this.

Then again, there was no doubt in Wei Wuxian's heart that his sister was not lying. She would not be able to do it even if someone would pay her for it. There had only been a handful of occasions when she hid the truth, and they had all been to protect Wei Wuxian. She never lied to him.

Wei Wuxian's head was starting to spin dangerously and he was suddenly glad he was sitting down and Jiang Yanli was holding his hands. It gave him something to keep himself at least a little steady. His very core was shaking and the hopes he had buried for so long, all those hours during which he refused to believe his kind-hearted masters, were trying to make themselves known. He was not sure he could resist anymore. He simply wanted to believe those promises way too much.

"A-Xian," he heard a choked voice from very far away. A hand caressed his hair and he leaned into the touch unconsciously. "You do not have to fear anything anymore. Everything would be fine from now on. Nothing will hurt you here... We can both stay and forget everything that happened back home... You will be free, finally... No debt to our family to tie you down, it had never existed in the first place. You will be just fine; you will be able to do anything you want. You will be able to be happy here. I cannot wait to see it."

Wei Wuxian could only sit on the bed, completely stunned. He felt his sister wiping away the tears that were now streaming out from his own eyes as well. He could not help himself. This felt so surreal and impossible. The simple thought of not having to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor would have been enough to make him emotional, not even taking about hearing Jiang Yanli say all those nice things about being free and not having to serve anyone.

It was simply too much and he could not close off his heart to these dreams anymore. How incredible it would be if the Lans would truly let him stay forever? And his sister as well. He would be able to spend all his time with Lan Wangji, there was nothing else he wanted more in this world.

He was fighting the prospects, trying to protect his already extremely vulnerable heart by wrapping his hands around his upper torso. But he knew he was fighting a losing battle, it was simply too tempting to not want all of it. He was only hanging on with the last of his will and self-restraint. He was balancing on the edge of a cliff and could not tell what would happen if he let himself fall down.