Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 87

Wei Wuxian saw only one thing right now, and that was his master. He was intently looking into his golden eyes, still very much in awe because of being promised that he would never have to go back to the Lotus Pier Manor. He believed Lan Wangji's words unconditionally and the hope he had so painstakingly wanted to bury deep down could no longer be controlled and bloomed wildly.

He was trembling all over, but for the first time in a very long while, it was not because he was scared or stressed, this time, it was because of all the excitement he could barely contain inside. He was still trying to hold himself back at least a little, however, his mind was not obeying him at the moment. He was thinking about the countless possibilities he now had in his life.

After all, had Lan Wangji not said that he was not a servant in the Cloud Recesses Manor, that he was to be his friend? That surely meant he was allowed to stay by his master's – he could not help himself but to still call Lan Wangji his master, everything was simply too new, he would get to get used to things first after confirming he had not dreamed everything up – side all the time and enjoy everything Lan Wangji wanted show him. There was so much they could do and Wei Wuxian was losing himself in the whirlpool of possibilities.

He knew very well that he was still getting ahead of himself, but for the first time since he had believed Jiang Fengmian would make him a true part of the family, Wei Wuxian was not scared of the future. It only excited him and he wanted to hurry and experience it as soon as possible. He was certain Lan Wangji would protect him from anything unpleasant, he had made a promise, had he not?

He was so beside himself that the only thing he could do right now was to stare adoringly at his master, trying to convey all the feelings which were welling inside of him like and endless ocean. All his gratitude, awe, amazement, excitement hope and small specks of uncertainty were mixed together in a head spinning mixture which was threatening to drown him. Nevertheless, he knew that it would not happen. Although he was feeling completely overwhelmed at the moment, Lan Wangji's presence was grounding him into reality.

After who knew how long, his master suddenly asked him: "Are you fine?"

Wei Wuxian's very being melted and he quickly nodded his head vehemently. He was more than fine; he had a hard time believing that he could ever be better actually. He had just gotten everything he had dreamed about for the longest time. He had to clutch his fists into his robe so he would not just jump out and either kowtow to his master or hug him around his neck to show his gratitude. He was not sure which option he would choose either, both would inconvenience Lan Wangji greatly.

Even though he now felt like he was in some kind of paradise, Wei Wuxian was still very conscious of the fact that he should be careful with his actions. He should not act too wildly lest his master would get irritated with him. He still vividly remembered it had been because of his uncontrollable behaviour that Madame Yu had so often scolded him, it was also because of this that he had been appointed as a servant in the first place and told not to talk and not to stand out, Madame Yu had made that very clear. Everything would be fine now, it would not happen again, he would make sure of it by being on his best behaviour.

Suddenly, as he was clutching the fabric of the white robes in his fists and feeling its texture which was completely different to his usual clothes, he realized one thing. He had put on these robes without asking and still did not know if they had truly been meant for him. Although he was sure his master would not scold him for it or anything, he was a little nervous nonetheless. He did not want to take something which he should not.

His uncertainty grew and he lowered his gaze to the white fabric between his fingers. He had to make sure whom these robes had been intended for. He willed himself to unclench his fists and gently patted the fabric to erase any wrinkles he might have caused. He was feeling very self-conscious right now. And also nervous; because he realized the only way in which he would be able to get his question answered would be to ask Lan Wangji directly.

Though, how could he do that? Sure, he was now comfortable in his master's presence and was not afraid of looking him in the eyes. However, daring to actually speak, that was another story entirely. Or, perhaps not so much; he would be willing to talk to Lan Wangji but he was scared he would not be able to. After all, he had tried time and time again in the past and everything he had gotten had been a closed off throat, no words had ever left his lips.

So, how could he talk with Lan Wangji if he could not actually speak? A thought, a memory of a few moments earlier, flashed in his eyes and Wei Wuxian knew at once. How could he forget? Had he gotten so excited that his brain had grown dumb? Of course he could communicate with his master, and he had done it just fine when he had managed to thank him too.

Wei Wuxian lifted his head and his expression was solemn, he carefully articulated, no sound leaving his lips: "For me?"

He could have tried to just ask but he was afraid Lan Wangji would not be able to read his lips easily. After all, his master was surely not used to this particular way of communicating. So, just to be sure, he accompanied his words by gestures. If his master would not be able to read his question from his lips, perhaps he would at least be able to tell in this way. Wei Wuxian pointed his finger first at the robe and then at himself. When he saw that Lan Wangji's eyes followed his every move, he was satisfied.

There was a short moment of doubt when he was waiting for Lan Wangji's reaction. It did not take too long though and understanding bloomed in his master's eyes. He nodded solemnly and confirmed: "Mn, the robes are for Wei Ying. Are they to your liking?"

He had thought earlier he could not be any happier but it seemed like Lan Wangji was determined to show him he had been sorely mistaken. We Wuxian's very being was overtaken by bliss and all he could do was to give a shy nod to answer his master's question. He was plunged too deep into the ocean of his emotions again and he was suddenly asking himself if he would ever be able to get out of it in his lifetime. Surely not when Lan Wangji would be around, always showing him unparalleled kindness and understanding.

Wei Wuxian lowered his head, fighting tears once again. His fingers started tracing the exquisite and soft material of the robe he had been given. Just to assure himself that it was truly there, that his master had given him such a great gift. Although for others, getting clothes to wear was perhaps a given, not so for Wei Wuxian. For him, usually things came at a price, so being offered a gift just like that, without being asked to repay it, was something extraordinary indeed.

His lips moved on their own and articulated a silent: "Thank you." He was not sure if his master was looking at him or if his words were understood, he had just wanted to say them.