The love letter and the suicide note

29 days until suicide

"I have an idea! You said I can try and find ways to make you stay, but how am I going to do that over the phone? If you're as nice as you sound, and you're not some crazy murderer, then I must take you to some of my favorite places. You're in Florida right?"

He should be in the same state, they talked about it earlier, but she had to be 100% sure.

"Yes."

"Alright then, how far from Orlando are you?"

"Not far, but-"

"Then it's settled, I'll find a day that we can meet up somewhere. I know I know, stranger danger. But we're both adults here and we can handle ourselves if something happens. And I don't believe you're a bad guy, I don't believe you'd hurt me."

"I'd never hurt you or anyone." Orson was quiet. "But that's what's going to happen if you continue to want to do this, you're going to get hurt."

"I don't believe you'd hurt me, and you won't hurt me, I already told you that you won't."

Astra had a good feeling about him. He wasn't bad. He wasn't someone who would hurt her.

But then again, that's how a lot of people in movies die. They say they won't and then do what she's doing and end up being found dead the next day.

But Orson wasn't like them. He was worried he'd hurt her, and most people who would hurt someone aren't worried about it. Besides, a lot of people will meet up with someone they barely know or don't know at all, just to hangout and see if they are a good fit for them.

"What do you say then? Wanna meet up somewhere? I can find things that will make you stay. Please. This is serious Bear Cub, taking a life is serious, so please let me help you." Astra decided to follow her heart and not her brain.

"If you are sure you can find ways to make me stay, then I'll meet up with you. But I haven't been out of my apartment in months, I can't drive in this state. Not when my head isn't in the right place right now. Even if I did drive and ended up crashing and killing myself, I'd be okay, but there's a chance I could hurt someone else. It's like driving drunk. I have no control right now, thoughts will come to my head and I'll do those thoughts."

"Can you take a bus?"

"I can."

"Okay then, how does next Friday sound?"

"Six days?"

"Yeah, I figured that if we kept talking on the phone a bit longer we'd be better friends and would be more comfortable around each other when we actually meet up."

"I guess so."

"Okay, don't you worry Bear Cub, I'll find things that will help you stay. Don't give up just yet, have faith in me."

"I don't have faith in anything." Orson said.

"Just don't give on me okay? I will help you, I know I will. And don't say you're going to hurt me, you've said that too many times to count. You're not going to hurt me, don't worry about that." Astra shook her head. "Why do you worry so much about hurting me? Even if you did, which you won't, it wouldn't even be your fault anyway."

"It would be my fault. People who get too close to me get hurt Star, and it is my fault because I can stop it, but I don't. I choose to hurt them, not 100% purposely, but I choose to push them away and that hurts them. So yes, I will hurt you. You don't know me."

"And you don't know me, and trust me, I've had my fair share of people trying to push me away. It never bothers me, I just don't let them."

"I don't want to hurt you." Was all he said.

"You won't hurt me, please stop worrying about that. I'm here to help you. I care." Astra had never met someone as stubborn as he was.

"I need to go." Orson's tone of voice changed, and Astra could tell something was wrong.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I just, I-I need to go."

"Please don't give up on me, I haven't even started finding things for you."

Astra heard Orson inhale a shaky breath. He was quiet for a few minutes, but Astra could hear his quiet breaths on the other line.

He hadn't hung up just yet.

"Don't give up Bear Cub, you'll see just how wonderful the world is when I'm done with you. I promise that I can make you happy again. Well, not exactly happy again, but happier than now."

"Star."

"Yes, Bear Cub."

"Thanks for trying."

"You don't have to thank me, I'm your friend, and friends take care of each other no matter what."

Was he her friend? They only knew each other a couple days. Did he see her as a friend? She saw him as a friend, but if he didn't see her as one, then she could stop calling him one until he did.

"I'll call you later." Orson said quietly.

Astra smiled.