The love letter and the suicide note

12:37pm

Astra didn't know why she was crying, especially since she was happy just a few seconds ago.

"Hey, it's okay." Orson was rubbing her back and hugging her close as she sobbed into his chest. "I'm right here."

"I miss Harley," Astra sobbed, "I miss her so much."

"I know you do," Orson said softly, "I'm so sorry."

"Orson." Astra cried.

"I'm right here." Orson pulled away to grab her face in his hands, and when he moved a strand of hair out of her face and behind her ear, her watery eyes met his.

"It hurts so much, I don't know what to do. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like she's gone, and I'm actually having a good time, but then a second later I remember and it hurts all over again." Astra shook her head as tears streamed down her face.

Orson didn't say anything, he just wiped the tears away with his thumbs and pulled her closer to him.

"She had so many years ahead of her, she barely lived. Now she won't be able to live, she won't be able to experience the things everybody should experience." Astra squeezed her eyes shut as she held tightly onto Orson.

"She looked so happy. She was always smiling and laughing, and she never looked sad. I don't know what was going on with her because she never told me, and now I'll never know. Nobody talks about her to me, and my uncle blames me for her death. He told me I should've been watching her, and how it's all my fault. It is my fault."

"No, Star, no. Don't you dare say that okay? It's not your fault, and it never was." Orson grabbed her face and forced her to look up at him. "Don't listen to your uncle, he's wrong. Don't ever listen to people like that."

"But he's right, if I had just-"

"No." Orson shook his head and put a finger to her lips to shut her up. "Don't talk like that, you'll only make it worse."

"I don't know what to do." Astra cried.

"I know." Orson's tone of voice softened, and he gently grabbed her face and wiped the tears away before he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

The smell of lavender and bergamot immediately filled her nose and she inhaled a shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him back tightly.

He smelled good. His arms made her feel safe. She didn't feel alone with him.

"Bear Cub." Astra cried quietly as she buried her face in his chest, hiccuping.

"I'm here." He whispered.

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me." Astra begged him.

"I'm not leaving, I'm right here Star, I'm right here." Orson leaned his cheek on the top of her head as she tightened her grip on him.

"No, don't leave me like she did. Don't kill yourself, please don't leave me like she did. It hurts, it hurts so much." Astra was sobbing uncontrollably now as she clung tightly onto him, not wanting to let go.

She was afraid if she let go of him, he'd leave her just like Harley did.

Orson was quiet.

"Please don't leave me." Astra continued to beg him.

"I'm so sorry." Orson finally spoke up after a few minutes.