The love letter and the suicide note

December 27th

"Orson please!" Astra cried into the phone.

She couldn't breathe. She was freaking out.

"Please answer your god damn phone!" She yelled in her phone, squeezing it so tightly that her knuckles started turning white.

"Astra." Carly said from behind her, and Astra turned around to see her friend standing in the doorway, a sad look on her face.

"Carly, he hasn't picked up his phone since December 24th. It's been 3 days. 3 days! I don't know what happened. I don't know where he is." Astra cried as Carly walked up to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"He's okay, I know he is." She hugged her tightly.

"What if he isn't? If he was these last couple of days, he's not anymore. Today is December 27th! Today is the day he told me he was going to... he was going to kill himself."

"Oh honey." Carly hugged her tighter as Astra sobbed in her arms.

"I need to go to his house." Astra pulled away from her and ran to grab her keys.

"Honey, he wasn't there yesterday, you already went to his house." Carly said.

"I don't care, yesterday's not today." Astra sobbed as she ran out of her room and down the stairs, out the front door and to her car.

"Astra." Carly said as she ran outside, but Astra shut her car door and started the engine.

She calmed herself down as much as she could the whole way to his house. By the time she got there, only a few tears slid down her face, and her breathing had slowed down.

She wasn't freaking out as much anymore.

He was okay. He was still alive.

"Orson!" Astra called as soon as she ran into his apartment.

He wasn't anywhere downstairs, so she ran upstairs and into the bathroom where she had found him last time. He wasn't inside. There was no blood this time.

Okay, if there was no blood, then that means he was okay. Right?

"Orson." Astra called again as she ran out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. There was an open piece of paper on his bed and she walked over to it and grabbed it.

It was her love letter.

"Orson?" Astra swallowed as she gently set it back down on his bed.

He read it.

She saw another paper on the other side of the bed, and she immediately snatched it when she saw the name on the page. Her heart stopped.

Oh no.

She opened the letter.

My bright Star.

She threw the piece of paper back onto the bed as she started sobbing. She knew exactly what that was, and she didn't want to read it. She wasn't going to read it. She was never going to read a suicide note. No matter who wrote it to her, she would never read it.

"Orson, where are you?" Astra sat on his bed and buried her face in her hands as she sobbed.

At the sound of her phone buzzing, her head snapped up and she quickly grabbed her phone.

Carly was calling her. The spark of hope that entered her heart disappeared. It wasn't Orson. It wasn't her Bear Cub.

"Carly?" She said when she picked up.

"Astra, it's Orson." By the sound of her voice, Carly was crying.

"What happened? Where is he?"

"They found him." Carly said.

"Oh my god, where is he? Is he okay?"

Carly was silent.

"Carly! Where is he? Is he okay? Please answer me Carly."

"He's not okay." Carly whispered.