There is nothing more beautiful than watching an innocent angel fall apart at my sinful actions. I'm going to ruin her.
"Augustine."
And she comes, looking down at me as she does so.
She glows, lighting up the goddamn room. Her feet barely touch t...
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I shut off the car in an empty parking lot.
I have nowhere to go, and the fear of being too alone consumes me. I can't distract myself when no one is around, and that scares me.
I stare into the dark night, only a few street lights illuminating empty buildings. I'm in the middle of the city, but it somehow feels so far away from everything.
My phone vibrates, but I can't bring myself to look at it.
I don't know why I'm suddenly so sad. Maybe it's because I've came to the conclusion that my life is full of dread. I'm blessed with wonderful people around me, but there is nothing in the world I could do to help them.
My brother is a lost cause at this point. And I hate admitting that. Hell, I doubt I'll ever see my father or my brother sober again. Half of the money I make goes to the house, and I'm barely able to afford college classes if it wasn't for the scholarships. Every day I thank past me for putting so much work into school. It saved me now.
I don't want to go to my father's house, Amaiah is at the party and I don't have a key to her place, and there is no way I'm walking back into Reign's house.
I try not to break down in self-pity, because I hate myself so much for it. My life could be so much worse, but I'm drowning in something that is only in my head.
My hands tremble against the steering wheel, and I'm just trying to hold myself together.
I've been sitting in silence, hoping the lack of noise will let my mind figure things out.
I lose it, my lips parting in silent but painful sobs. Tears drain from my eyes, blurring my vision.
"Fuck," I curse with a broken voice, squeezing the wheel. I'm so tired.
After about two minutes of crying for myself, I shake it off, trying to rid all of the bad thoughts from my brain.
I refuse to sit here all night to just cry.
I don't know where I'm going, but I just drive. The breeze through the rolled-down window kisses my skin. My phone vibrates again with another notification.
Deciding I should probably look at it, I pull over when it's safe and pull out my phone.
It's a picture from Amaiah. Her, Axel, Rika, and Michael are holding up cups with God-knows-what in them, and she's smiling at the camera. They're clearly drunk, and the text explains the notion further.
Amaiah: wish you were here, babe. we all miss you!!
I bite the inside of my cheek, contemplating if I should go.
I mutter a 'fuck it' and yank my bag up from the backseat. The party will definitely go on for the rest of the night, so I'll just be fashionably late.
