His Little Amelia

|72| • Amelia

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>:(

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I'd lost him.

I'd lost the only man I cared so deeply for, the man I'd come to admire and love with every inch of my heart. I'd lost him because of my own foolish antics. Knowing I was the cause of his made me stagger, tears becoming normal as they strolled down my face, my heart squeezed making it hard to breathe.

He left.

Evie walked out on me, did that mean he was walking out on us? Ha...I wasn't even allowed to call him that anymore. I continued staring at the closed door, wishing I'd wake up from his horrible dream, hoping with everything in me that he'd come back in and yell at me instead. If he'd refused to speak to me while still living here with me, it'd break my heart but we'd have a better chance at smoothening things out.

But now...

What was I supposed to do?

I was starting to get used to the fact that everyone would leave someday. But not Everest. I didn't want him to leave, especially when it was because of something I had done. A mistake I had made.

The words he seethed at me before he felt tormented me. He was right in every way. I had refused to acknowledge how flirty and touchy Raul was, just because I didn't want to stop being his friend, just because I didn't want Kaji and Arnold to feel uncomfortable if I stopped speaking to Raul. I didn't want to see it, I brushed it off time and time again. Whenever his hands lingered on my body, I'd played it off with a smile, not wanting to make our friendship awkward.

But now, I didn't have Everest anymore, he was disappointed in me. He couldn't stand being in the same house as me. So what was the point in holding a friendship so dear if I was going to lose my relationship? I wish I never got to see him that broken, that...hurt.

I wanted to scream.

To scream so loud it hurt my lungs.

Why did I come here to face the music in the first place, knowing fully well I wouldn't be able to take it? Could the consequences of my actions be any more cruel? My hands shook, feeling ice cold. I continued to stare off into thin air, not fully realizing what I'd just done. Why...why did I have to do that? Why didn't I leave the party when I felt drunk? Why didn't I call Everest, if I had, I knew how he'd come to my rescue, no questions asked.

But instead, I chose this harsh fate for myself. I let myself be manipulated again, and this time, it didn't come with a slap on the wrist.

Squatting down, I dug my face into my hands, trying to hide my shame. The sobs on my lips gave me a throbbing headache. There was nothing left to say, I was more disappointed in myself. I should have seen it coming, I should have known something like this would happen sooner or later if I didn't speak firmly against Raul. Yet...

I still didn't.

Everest didn't even say when he'd be coming back, I didn't know if he'd be coming back. The thought gripped my chest. What if he decided he wanted to break up? If he couldn't look me in the eye any longer? I cried harder, hating myself for acting this way. I hated myself because I could have stopped this, but didn't.

Wiping my tears, I wobbled to my feet, the heels feeling heavy on my feet as I walked back into my room. I probably looked repulsive when I begged him to stay. Perhaps that was why he told me to let him go, to not call him Evie. I couldn't look myself in the mirror, I'd cringe at the person staring back. With low whimpers, I took off my clothes and shoes, loosening the rope which tied my hair.