And I'm feeling kind of lonely again.
The kind of lonely that creeps in,
When you're not paying attention.
And I know I'm lonely cause of me.
Pushing people away whenever I please.
It's a bad habit when I panic.
It's a bad habit when I'm manic.
Highs followed by extreme lows.
That lead to me,
Being completely empty.
Lonely and alone,
With no one to make me feel anything,
But the hurt I feel now.
And any pain that I can cause me.
Like missing a few calories.
Like cutting out lines of me.
Like being without a lot of things.
Like I imagined all of this.
I imagined I was lonely,
And it manifested itself.
It brought all these feelings,
These feelings of hate and death,
That I was running away from.
I feel trapped,
No way to escape these thoughts.
I see I did this on my own.
I fucked up.
And there's no way to fix,
What I have done.
YOU ARE READING
Dim.
PoetryTired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. W...
