I have never been accustomed to happiness. I think that's my underlying problem. I don't know how to grasp happiness. I don't know how to stay consistent enough to control my outcomes. I don't know how to be strong enough to handle my impulsive self. To stay in control. To bypass my damaged ways. To be accountable for my mistakes. I find I'm too weak sometimes, I fall into bad cravings. Sometimes it's just the easy way. But it's brought me to this place where I have nothing left and no one left to share it with. Truly alone for the first time I've noticed I've never been whole with others. I let my happiness fall from grace and asked God to pardon my way.
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Dim.
PoetryTired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. W...
