It really sucks when the only thing wrong with you, is how much you hate yourself. How you look in the mirror and don't even see yourself. How the scary things you do don't even faze you anymore.
I don't know who I am anymore. I just know I don't like myself or who I'm becoming. I don't like how I'm subconsciously ruining everything around me. How I push everyone away. How I struggle on my own. How I don't know how to ask for help or to speak up when things go a little left.
I hate who I'm becoming.
I hate how my bones stick out now.
I hate how I can,
Never catch my breath.
I hate that I hate myself.
I try so hard,
To find love in me.
The kind of love that would save me.
But instead all I find inside of me,
Is hate.
All I can bring myself to do is find hate inside of everything in me. Til' I've convinced myself that everyone would be burdened free if I just disappeared. If I just didn't exist. If I just wasn't me.
YOU ARE READING
Dim.
PoetryTired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. W...
