Dim.

19. Worst Enemy.

And I hated you.

I hated everything,

And every idea,

You burned into my mind.

Like how I wasn't beautiful.

Like how I was never good enough.

How you made me hate myself,

Hate my guts,

My very being,

My soul.

Rather than,

Unconditionally loving myself,

I was bed ridden with hate.

Self-hate that'll never disintegrate.

And I hated you,

For making me think that was love.

That love was pain.

That love was taking away the things,

That made people feel alive.

Unique,

Different.

What I was giving myself,

Was pure at one point,

But you took that from me,

What I worked so hard for,

And reminded me I was naïve.

In reality,

You were so toxic,

And traumatizing.

You leave doors pushed wide open,

And make tornados,

Out of my emotions.

And I hated me,

For my mood swings.

For all the times,

I thought about dying.

How I stopped eating,

In hopes my stomach would collapse.

With my ribs attached,

And my heart would fall and break,

And smash.

I hated you because,

You were apart of my childhood.

You were apart of my life for some time.

I hated you because I trusted you.

And that was the worst thing,

That could've happened to me.

Trusting you gave me nothing,

But trauma and pain.

I stopped loving.

Then stopped living for me.

It ended in me,

When it started with you,

Taking everything that made me,

Me.

You took my light.

Alone with just my thoughts.

Pumping hate through my veins.

Pouring cups of hate,

Straight to the brain.

Rolling up hate back to back,

Clouding my lungs,

Clouding up my brain.

I tried to pill pop you away.

Anything to stop seeing your face,

To stop feeling your hands.

To stop feeling,

The brisk air of your breathe,

Down the nape of my neck.

I hated you so much,

I started hating myself.

I hated everything.

I started hating my bones,

For being so naïve.

For believing anyone,

Could be pure like me.