Dim.

28. Inadequate

There wasn't much to me. A simple girl, very plain and ordinary. I was like everyone else. I had two eyes, a nose, two arms and legs. Your eyes would overlook mine if you saw me walking by. There wasn't anything special about me. That much I had figured out.

My life had great value to those around me. I was the friend that was needed. I was the person you'd go to for comfort or help or pretty much anything. But I was still a nobody. Just average.

But from afar you could tell something was off about me. It was my eyes. They told stories that I couldn't bear to whisper out loud. I knew too much and I held it all in, locked and trapped inside of me. My eyes told those stories silently, you wouldn't want to know me. My eyes were a warning. A warning not to attempt to know me. I had too many layers. Too many complications.

Everything I touched crashed and burned. Everything I was and everything I wasn't didn't matter. It didn't matter who I was. It didn't matter what I did or where life took me. I was cursed. Every life I allowed into mine took away parts of me. Took away all the parts of me that mattered.

I didn't know who I was. I was lost. I was found. I was nothing. I was everything. I didn't know my direction or where life would take me. But it took me to this place, here right now. Where I'm trapped in my feelings and my emotions. Things are not the way they are supposed to be.

I'd been hurt time and time again. These things that I hold onto, that make my eye lids heavy with wet tears, these things that leave me hollow, made me like this. This person who didn't feel. Who didn't think like everyone else. I wasn't a person or a being. I was nothing. I had pulled myself apart, into pieces so tiny I couldn't put them back together. I wasn't normal. I wasn't like you or anyone. I just knew I wasn't designed to handle the kind of pains and fear and disappointments that normal humans can.