beetle | unedited ✔️

twenty three

Gabriel Benjamin Anderson

It's been three weeks. Three weeks since she had that surgery. Three weeks of me coming straight from school in her small Volkswagen Beetle that I've grown to love. Three weeks, and she still hasn't woken up from her medical coma. I haven't slept in so long that I feel like I could be right by her side. It wasn't something to joke about, but it helped me to stay awake during my visits to her.

The one thing I feared most is her forgetting me. Her forgetting everything we had. Her forgetting our love that practically consumer us. I prayed everyday.

Her skin was pale but she was breathing. Her brown hair was less vibrant and alive than it usually was. Sometimes I'd sit on the hospital couch beside her bed for hours. Sometimes I'd talk to her while doing homework. Sometimes I just watched as her chest would rise and fall, hoping the steady breathing wouldn't falter.

The door to her hospital room opened but I didn't look at it. I knew it was going to be my mom coming in for a daily check up. The check ups were usually in the mornings, it's a Saturday morning and I plan to be here all day. I don't care if I'll be stuck in this damned hospital all day; I just wanted to know that my girl is one hundred percent okay.

"Honey, go get some frozen yogurt from the cafeteria." He shoulder landed on my shoulder as I nodded. I stood up slowly and kissed Parker's forehead. I wanted nothing more than to kiss those lips, but even her lips were chapped and had a loss of color. Her beauty was still there, but everything was missing. She was missing. Her liveliness and happiness around me. Her arms, holding me while I slept next to her. I missed all of it, and I have been for more than three weeks. More than three weeks because of the time we stopped talking.

I haven't told her that I love her yet, mostly because I wanted her to actually be present when I do. I want to be able to kiss her lips after I say it. I want to be able to see those happy eyes and big smile that I fell in love with.

I slowly stepped out of the room and closed the door before trudging down to the cafeteria. I was waiting in line with my money before I was tapped on the shoulder. I turned around, my hands still in my pockets as I looked at the doctor who performed surgery on my beetle three weeks ago.

"She's awake." My eyes widened and I ducked under the rope from the line and basically sprinted to her hospital room. I opened the door slowly, not wanting to scare her or anyone in the room. Her eyes were open and she was drinking some water from a styrofoam cup with a straw. She looked over to me and smiled. That one, that smile right there is what I've been waiting to see.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She held up her thumb as she continued to drink her water. I sat down beside her and watched as she stared at me. I moved a piece of hair from her face as she drank her water. "I'm tired, and I can tell you are too." She poked my cheek as she spoke softly. I can finally listen to that sweet voice I fell in love with. "Parker," I stand up, ready to spill my heart out. "What?" She interjects, making me smile. Tears were in my eyes, happy ones.

"I was so scared to lose you. So scared." I grabbed her hand as she pouted at me. "You told me something that made me completely angry at myself. I punished myself for what happened to you. I regretted every second of that week when I wasn't talking to you," I paused making sure she was okay and listening.

"You told me you loved me." She nodded, her eyes glistening from unshed tears. "I do love you." She softly whispered, one tear falling down her cheek. I wiped it away with a chuckle. I nodded at her as I rubbed my thumb along her knuckles. "I know," fucking say it. Say it. Say it. Say it.

"Do you not feel the same?" Her smile instantly turned into a frown and her bottom lip quivered. It broke my heart as I quickly shook my head. "No, beetle. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes." I smile as her frown turned upwards and happy tears fell from her eyes. At least I hoped they were happy tears.

"I've been waiting to say that for the past three weeks." I kissed her forehead before sitting back down in the seat beside her. "I thought it was so crazy how I was sleeping for three weeks yet I'm still extremely fatigued. Your mom filled me on a lot of things." I nodded, letting go of her hand to grab her phone from my pocket.

"I'm sure you want this. I don't know if your parents were ever contacted." She nodded, a sad smile overtaking her beautiful face. The face I fell in love with. "They probably were called, they just feel that their work is more important than me." She quietly explains, tossing me her phone back without even opening it. I knew there were texts from Mari on there. Part of me wanted her to rot in hell for hurting my Parker, but part of me knew they used to be best friends. She deserved to know what was in those messages, but maybe right now isn't a good time for her to read them. It's probably too soon for her right now.

"Do you want me to get you a frozen yogurt while they run some tests?" She nodded with a big smile on her face. She's so precious. "Yes, please." I gave her one last kiss on her forehead before stepping out and letting my mom step in.