the not so good subgoal

16

-george pov-

sapnap
george you can't just leave like that...
hello?
george answer
please
i'm sorry
GEORGE ANSWER ME
ARE YOU OKAY?

i'm fine

george no you aren't. why'd you leave like that?

idk

george tell me what's going on, i'll listen this time. i won't pressure you or put words into your mouth.

what the hell does he mean 'tell me what's going on' i told him everything i needed to last night. i told him everything thought, every feeling, every emotion i felt about dream. is this some type of trick? does he plan on screenshooting this snd sending it to dream?

sapnap i told you everything last night. wasn't that enough for you?

no george, last night i kept assuming things.

i'm sorry but, i'm not explaining it again. it's just going to make things worse for me.

george as i remember it you told you have been thinking about dream a lot lately i don't even remember what you said after that.

yeah that's exactly what i told you. good to see you remember

no let's talk about it again. so that i can actually talk to you, and not assume anything.

fine. but you need to promise to not tell ANYTHING to him

trust me george, this isn't my first rodeo.
i promise

am i really about to explain all of this for a second time. sadly, yes i was.

the day of my stream i realized a lot sapnap. the fact that i adore dream. his smile. everything. i craved his affection. my thoughts trembled back to him constantly. my finger, always hovering over the call button. but never got clicked. sapnap, he even sent me pictures of him and i needed to save them. i still have them in my camera roll and i go back to them constantly. i don't know why i feel like this. that fan-fiction made me feel different about him. in a good way, a way i cant handle. i way that is to much for me to comprehend. i don't know what to do sapnap. apparently these thoughts i have aren't thoughts friends have about each other. you even said it yourself. i don't think i 'like' him. for fucks sake sapnap i'm not even gay. i'm straight. and please don't even mention telling him. it would ruin everything. he even said it himself, that all the 'flirting' that we do back and fourth is just jokes. at least from his end i think.

after i clicked send i reread the message. realizing this was a horrible idea. he now has everything in imessage. he could screenshot this without me even knowing and could send it to dream. and ruin everything.

then....sapnap responds

so you adore him? you admire him? saying you love his laugh, his voice, everything. and the fact you look at pictures of him constantly george. and that you want more attention from dream? that you want every second you have to be spent with him.

i mean, yeah. i guess you can put it that way.

okay. now how do you think you would feel if dream were to give you a hug right now? he's obviously isn't at your house but in general, if you hugged him how do you picture it.

how the hell does this have to do with anything.

i don't know? obviously i would hug back, and embrace it. enjoy the moment. i'd probably feel welcomed and comforted. never wanting to let go. idk i've craved a hug from him from a long time .

okay good. and how would you feel if...say you two went to a restaurant, and the waitress, say it's a girl. started flirting with dream and asked him for his number, and he gave it to her.....how would you feel.

probably jealous, mad? idk sapnap how does this help anything?

george i know you didn't want me to say this...but just bare with me. you say you'd get jealous if someone tried to 'get with dream.' and you 'crave' his hugs. either you guys are really really good friend or...yk. because i don't crave hugs from you guys not to be rude. lmao

sapnap i cant, i don't. it would ruin everything. he doesn't even like me, he's straight remember.

did you just admit to it then?
read 2:07am

did i just fuck up? no. now he thinks i like dream. i don't like dream. he's my best friend. he will never like me back. except sapnap did have a point. i'm pretty sure my thoughts aren't very 'friend like' anyways.

and why was sapnap so good with advice on that topic. he hasn't even had his first kiss.....

i had enough of this. i opened google and started typing...

"how do i know if i like guys"

results: Your reactions to his presence, touch, and voice are telling! If you are genuinely excited to see him, have a strong reaction to his physical presence, and could chat with him for hours on end, chances are you like him. If your feelings and reactions are indifferent, you likely just aren't that into him.

what the...no there's no way. i guess it was kind of off, seeing it wasn't 'physical touch' but for me it was his presence in general. online. everything matched up perfectly. i was always excited to see him, to hear his voice, to listen to his soft giggles. i always talk with him for hours, and hours. sometimes even 8 hours a day.

'maybe i'm not straight'

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words- 942
lol
votes are appreciated :]