Perfect people don't exist

Chapter 10

Ezra:

The skinny blonde-haired boy was quiet most of the car drive. He seemed excited at first and I hoped he still was, he just didn't seem to wanna talk, and that was fine but he seemed tensed or deep in thought. I don't know. I was usually better at reading people but he was a closed book. We stopped and I tapped him on the shoulder making him jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," I said worrying that I had scared him or hurt him or something.

"It's fine. I am just a little jumpy," he laughed casually.

At least he was smiling. Though I will admit, his whole mood seemed to have change from the beginning of the drive, to now. When we got out he looked around and saw where I was heading or guessed. I wanted to take him to an Italian diner. I had only been here a few times and it was wonderful, romantic.

Maybe I hadn't thought about his eating habits before this, which I was now regretting as he sat staring at his bowl of pasta. He looked up at me and I was glancing at him with a pleading expression. Just take a few bites, just a few.

He smiled and then with a shaky hand picked up his fork. I held my breath during this anticipation. I snuck a few looks at him whilst eating my own meal. He wasn't looking at me and instead he was staring at his food. I wish I knew what was happening in that beautiful mind of his.

I wanted to know his thoughts, emotions. What he was feeling about all of this. I wanted to know what I could do to help him, what to say. But instead I just sat there feeling guilty about this. He looked upset like the food was his enemy. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him to go out for food. I really had to think of better date ideas. He stabbed a piece of the penne pasta with the fork and brought it up to his thin pink lips. His face was still a little cut up and bruised. Where he got them from I didn't ask. It wasn't me being insensitive but I didn't want to come out as a sticky-beak. Let's just hope that he was a clumsy guy.

That's what you tell yourself, but we both know very well that he isn't just clumsy. You see him with multiple bruises almost everyday, just ask and stop being a coward.

"Are you ok?" I wondered.

He looked me in the eyes and tried to smile, but it was pretty difficult with pasta in his mouth. Wait what? I looked back at him and saw him swallowing. A smile formed across myself at the thought of seeing him eat without me having to push too much. There was so many things that I didn't want to come off as. Pushy was another one of them, I just cared so much and it killed me to see him like this. I always noticed he wasn't the most happiest kid in the grade but now that I hang out with him now, I am starting to see that he seems actually a bit emotionless. I always just saw his as a stressed out nerdy try hard who had to calm the fuck down about things. But now I was stressing about him.

It's ok. I can care about him but maybe I had to calm down a bit and look pass his paralysed expressions. maybe it was just me not allowing myself to see a happier side of him. I need to look at the positives. I was beginning to make him sound depressed and just sad or whatever. He smiled a fair bit, he laughed at the groups' stories. It's just my own thoughts.

When I looked up again, I hadn't realised that our plates has gone. Did he eat all of his?

"Y-you umm, you ate it all?"

It was supposed to come out less...surprised and more of just a question. a general question. But I fucked up. He nodded quickly. I cannot believe he actually ate it all. maybe he was trying to improve himself for his friendship. But I didn't want him to feel that him by himself wasn't good enough for me because he was. He was beyond good enough. Though I could never tell him my feelings. Not yet at least, that would just come out really creepy.