seventeen

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warning : drugs

CLYDE

_**_

Knocking.

A hard one that snaps my head up from me staring at all the pills I need to get rid of some how. I lazily just put them in my drawer before going to open the door.

She stares at me. Her face fuming.

What the.

"When we're you going to tell me the bet wasn't just for your ego?"

"What?"

"Don't be stupid Clyde. You lied to my face. Again. You had so much time to tell me I was just going to be your virgin marry you fuck then kick out. But I had to hear that from Isaac."

"What do you mean Isaac?" Everything is going too fast.

Isaac already got cleared? I thought I was lucky enough to get the blood in his head kill him. Tried pressing charges. Such a bitch.

"That's not the point." She screams at me.

"All you do is lie and keep secrets. So I'll be a kind enough person and let you tell me what the bet really was about."

"Well what did he tell you?"

Fuck I'm messing with her mind.

"Clyde."

"What!"

"I was just a game. For money." Her voice is lost in the dorm.

"Is that true? Was I just for money."

"That was before...before I started to—"

"Started to what." Her eyes are begging for me to say something I don't think I can.

Fall for you.

Her tears are holding onto dear life.

"You knew how much you mean to me. And we were doing good. You were never going to tell me were you?" Her voice cracks.

"I was." I lie.

"You're lying again!" She yells.

Fuck.

I pull her into the room and lock the door behind her.

"Can you calm down."

"Don't touch me." She pushes me back.

"Just admit it."

"You were a bet for money. I took your virginity for money." I admit. I'm going to murder him.

"And you needed them to keep quiet because you sell." The next words she mutters under her breathe.

"Say it again."

"You sell. You've been selling the entire time. And I lied to my mom. And I tried thinking you can be this perfect guy for me but you can't."

"So he planted my entire life into your brain."

"Yeah he did. Grateful he did. Or I wouldn't know you're some drug addict as well."

Fuck.

"Right? There is so much I don't know do I. So for the first time can you tell me anything else because I'm done."

MARIANNA

*   *

I just stare at him waiting. For the first time taking my stand. I can't let him just walk over me. I lied for him. While he was lying to me completely. He was right. I would look at him differently.

"I slept with someone." He whispers. I feel my heart hurt more then it already has. I thought he would apologize or something. But he didn't cheat because we were never together. I just look down at my hands. My eyes burning but nothing comes out. I've cried so much for him.

"I slept with Daliyah."

I feel all the oxygen leave my body and a breathless laugh leaves my lips as my eyes water.

I knew I should I've fought my feelings for him since the beginning.

"It's okay." I state looking into his eyes that are now red. I don't care when he did it. Maybe I do deserve it. I'm such an idiot.

"Can we talk about it? Are you seriosuly just going to leave?" He asks.

It explains so much.

"If you want something with her then go ahead. I'm not going to sabatoge your feelings. Or anything you want to do." It's the truth. Even if it hurts. I don't want to be with him. But he can do whatever makes him content or happy. I will not dare step in his way anymore

"She's not who I want. Don't even fucking say that."

"What do you want me to do then Clyde?"

"Yell at me." His voice breaks and his tears are pouring.

"Why? Why would you sleep with her?"

"Because you said you slept with Isaac and it pissed me off. So I tried to hurt you. I was going to use it against you the night of..."

Oh my gosh.

He came to my room that night he took me to walk in the garden. If I answered yes to his question about Isaac he would've thrown it in my face.

He slept with her right after.

"I just wish one day you would wake up and realize I care more about you then you think. That's why I constantly try. But you're just the player everyone was right about. And I hate you. So much."

I know if I say anything more then I'll probably just get into another argument with him. More tears. More heartbreak. And I don't want the next thing to happen is him be manipulative. I don't want to end up sleeping with him. I don't want to deal with some pathetic fake relationship. I'm so tired.

So I just leave. I ignore as he calls my name. I can't go to that dorm. So I leave the campus. Sitting outside letting my tears pour hoping she just answers.

"Mom." I cry as she finally picks me up.

"Can I come home?"

"Marianna why are you crying? Where are you?"

"I can't be here." I breathe. Feeling myself breakdown as she tells me to get myself together and go inside but I don't listen to her.

"Marianna I know you're hurting but please go inside. Please." She begs as I hear her moving.

"I don't want to."

"Then don't get off the phone and don't move from where you are." Her tone is harsh and I just nod even if she can't see me.

I wait.

Waiting so long. About an hour in the cold till she comes through the drive way. In her pajamas as she unlocks the car for me.

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