nineteen

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warning : sexual content, violence

MARIANNA

*   *

I stare at the celling. I can't even sleep. I've been tossing and turning trying to ignore the pain between my legs.

Daliyah isn't even here.

It's been a week.

I'm trying to ignore the fact it's his birthday tomorrow. Yet I can't. I've been doing well? I expected more but he just gave up. I'm conflicted. It's wrong to not tell anyone what he does. But I still violated in every way. Used for some token of money.

I don't have anymore tears. I'm just. Here?

And horny.

Very , very , horny.

I wonder if he's even thinking about me? Or maybe this was his plan before turning big eighteen.

I bite my lip running my hand down my body. Fixing my hair as I move my hand into my sweats. Parting my legs and rubbing myself through the fabric. I don't do it much. Third time probably? But I literally crave sex every second. It's so bad. I feel so guilty after as well. It's depressing.

Yet it's not enough.

I remove the blanket and pull off the clothing. Letting them fall and stay on the ground. Before getting back into bed. Ignoring the cool breeze that hits between me as I part my legs again. I close my eyes imagining him telling me things I wish he would still tell me in my ear. Him kissing and licking my breasts.

A uncontrolled moan leaves my lips as I bring my free hand to my boobs. Playing with them softly making them harder then they already are.

I'm wet. And it would help if he were here. Pounding into me unmercifully.

My chest rises and falls as I fasten my pace.

"Fuck...fuck..."

My brows furrow and I cover my mouth biting my palm as louder moans leave my lips. My mind fills with dirty scenarios bringing me closer to my edge. My hand leaves my mouth and I grip the corner of my pillow that my heads rested on. My back arching off the bed and my mouth parting softly as I reach my high. Loving the euphoric feeling that never lasts too long.


CLYDE

_**_


I test myself. Moving my hand against my dick inside my boxers. Sitting on the edge of the bed. Can't stop thinking of her. She's probably sleeping like the good innocent girl she is. Forgetting about me.

She wouldn't forget.

She cares about me too much. And that's where I fucked up. I sabotaged my own self. When I get her back this time she's not going to leave. I'll make her my girlfriend even if the label is stupid. I'll try to be kind to her. If she does find another I can always murder him.

I messed up. Crying like a bitch for three days? I feel sick. Physically. Mentally going crazy.

And my dick.

Is horny as it can get. I wish I can just remove the silk off her skin once more and kiss her in areas I only can.

I am crazy.

I think she's fighting that truth though. Sometimes I am too.

It's dark outside and cold.

I give up and pull the waistband down. Letting my dick come up. Pulsing with veins and pre cum. I wrap my hand around myself wishing there were hers. Moving my hand up and down before moving my thumb across the tip. Making me part my lips and increasing my breathing. Cursing under my breathe as I go slow. Torturing myself with the fact that it's note her.

Wishing she was on her knees in front of me. Her beautiful little mouth taking me all in.

"Fuck Marianna." I groan moving my hand up and down faster. Leaning back slightly. it hurts. I don't think it's hurt this much before. No amount of my touch will make the aching go away. It just seems to get harder. If I were inside her...

"Shit."

I feel a knot grow as my body tense. Wishing her moans were in my ear I cum. Releasing my stress. But still being hard. A part of me knows I can just get a random girl in here. But I already did that with Daliyah. I've realized Marianna is going to find everything out. She's already is. So I don't need to add to the list of issues. I stand up and go to the bathroom to clean up the mess.

CLYDE

_**_

The next day rolls by and I'm focused on her talking to her stupid committee that I thought she couldn't be in anymore.

The crowd is still full since it was the last game of the season. We won. So now playoffs. Out of no where her eyes divert to someone. A slight terrified look. She looks over right at me.

What?

She starts walking up to me. Quickly too.

She's walking up to me. I feel my breathe leave my body as she stands near me. Very close. Her eyes stare into my soul.

"Why is there a guy who looks like you at the gates." She whispers.

He wouldn't.

That's all it took.

That bitch.

A gun shot goes off. Enough to have the entire crowd confused but not running. But then it starts to spread.

I take her hand and pull her away from the open grass. Going to the boys lockers and locking the door. Ignoring the screams I know he's here to make my birthday amazing.

"Clyde."

"Please just...not now." I whisper having her back to the locker. Her eyes are screwed shut with every closer bullet. She flinches as one is too close. He isn't going to kill someone. He's already on the run. All for his fucking money?

That I'm not even close to paying back.

Her body trembles at my touch.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." I whisper caressing her cheek with my thumb.

"Clyde." She whispers opening her eyes. Her eyes a light pink.

"Hm." I hum hearing another gun shot but they're further away.

"I love you."

My thumb stops caressing her cheek. Her eyes burn into mine and I feel my heart drop to my feet. That wasn't part of the plan.

Sirens fill my ears as the gunshots stop. Everything seems to move slow. And I think when I don't tell her the same realization hits her.

"You don't?" Her voice is quiet and terrified of my answer.

"Anna..." the name sounds faint leaving my mouth. She moves away from me. Her tears spilling but I pull her back I case that physic bitch tries something.

"You can't leave right now."

"Then don't touch me." Her anger comes over.

I did change her.

She used to be calm. And collected.

Now she replaces her emotions with anger.

I love you.

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