Chapter 5 - Regrets

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It’s the day before graduation and Dave and I never spoke again. I tried to talk to him through chat but he was busy, talking to another girl he just met I guess.

The crazy part is, I am starting to like him more than I should. Seeing him from afar during practice hurts me more because we’ve gone out from casual friends to strangers.

A lot of girls are trying to get his attention and he seems to respond to every one of them. I am trying to look cool and composed by not looking and trying not care.

But deep inside, my stomach felt like being squeezed into million pieces. It hurts me to know that it was all nothing to him. He didn’t say it but it looks like it.

I regret even thinking that we had a chance. I am good for nothing. Nothing.

***

The graduation ceremony started and I was seating at the front. I looked back and I saw Lea raise her brows at me. I smiled and looked away. I saw Sam murmuring something like she was a ball of fire ready to be thrown at enemy’s grounds.

I didn’t look further because I know I will see Dave.

That beautiful face of him that makes me spit every time. I hate and love seeing him. But right now I am trying so hard to remove my mind from where we ended. Because there’s never been an ‘us’.

He used me for a night and never talked to me. It was a magical night but I wasn’t for him. So I guess I’ll just have to redeem myself and be better. Better person, better choices and better life.

***

It’s been one week since I graduated from college. Life’s a bore and I am starting to look for jobs. There’s this job at Marine Park where they hire photographers for visitors but you’ll get to join free trips to sea parks whenever possible.

The pay was good considering my degree in Arts and Literature. Besides, photography was my hobby and I am pretty much good at it.

I grabbed my purse and decided to relax for a while. I went to Starbucks and waited in line.

I have to clear my head. I am no longer in highschool to blabber about my love life which is obviously non-existent. I have to focus on my career. The job in the Marine Park is a start. Don’t overthink. Life is not a term paper that you have to rush everything to get a passing mark. Alice Grent, take your time.

I scanned the chairs for vacant ones and as I was about to look away, I saw Dave giggling like a boy with… Lea?? What the freaking fuck is this? Is the world ending?

I was about to back out in line but the cashier asked me already for my order so I had no choice but to say my order and wait. I was praying silently that they won’t notice me. I walked fast and exited the shop. I was in relief when I suddenly bumped into someone.

My coffee slipped at my side and his hat fell off to my hand.

“Hey I’m sorry!” I looked up and saw the bluest and familiar eyes I’ve ever laid my eyes on. He smirked at me and looked at my spilled coffee swimming on the concrete floor.

“I’m sorry about your coffee.” He looked back at me. “I’ll get one for you.”

“No it’s okay. It’s my fault anyway.” I looked up again feeling the blush on my cheeks, I looked down and returned his hat. Suddenly, a strong arm grabbed my hand and led me back to the shop.

I heard him murmur towards the cashier who looked startled. I looked down and his hand is still on mine. What in hell am I doing? This is a stranger! He might be psychopath for all I know.

He led me to one of the tables nearing Dave and Lea’s table. I caught a glimpse and I saw them staring at me. Great! They saw me!

“Here is yours.” He handed me a large cup of coffee. He smiled and I stared to his eyes. It’s like I am caught up in a trance where you feel restless and familiar but calm.

“T-thanks.” Why am I startling? This is so not me.

“By the way, my name’s Logan. And you are?” 

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