Into the universe of EROS

Chapter 24

*Eros*

Seeing Ajax was fucking hard. I tried not to cry but I couldn't hold it back. I felt so embarrassed for lashing out like that. I thought I had moved on from him, but in reality I'd just been suppressing the hurt I'd felt, and not dealing with it, just made it bubble into something worse. I felt rage towards Ajax and that's something I've never felt before. It scared me, but it also made me feel like I had some power or some control.

I think this is what the chief meant when he said I'd feel the effects of the moon's power. We'd had many conversations about what it meant being a Lycanth. Even just thinking about it gave me goose bumps. Knowing for once who I was and what exactly I was meant to be. Knowing with certainty that I did indeed belong somewhere. It made coping with a lot of things so much easier.

But this hurt I felt over Ajax was something not even knowing who I was could help. It just felt like the person I'd thought would heal my heart was the one who ended up shattering it. I don't even know why it affected me so, it just did.

So much for never being like the sappy people in romance movies. To think I used to laugh at the notion of loving someone so much that you bared yourself to them, thinking that you wont be broken by them. But human nature is destructive and we... no, I should've seen this coming.

"Hey, you okay?" Kai's voice broke the silence between us. After leaving the café I wanted to go home but I couldn't let Aunt Sylvie see me like this and start worrying about me again. Kai offered to go to his house, and not seeing any other options, I decided to accept.

Now we sat quietly in his bedroom as he waited for me to talk. I sat on the corner of his bed with my back facing him, looking down at my fingers fiddling with them, tryna pull myself together. My thoughts swirled violently in my head until I heard Kai speak up again.

"We can just sit here if you want. Do you wanna watch a movie or play some games, just to take your mind off everything?" he said with a soft and gentle tone. It was obvious he felt really bad about the situation and I hate that he got involved.

"A movie sounds good" I said trying to muster up a smile, only managing a weak one.

I sat awkwardly on the bed trying to get comfortable and then I felt Kai's arm reach for my shoulder and pull me towards him so that my head was now on his chest.

I was shocked to say the least. "Uhm. This is a... a bit awkward" I said nervously.

He smiled before saying, "It's only awkward if you make it awkward. You need comforting, so let me comfort you."

I let out a low chuckle. Unexpectedly, I softened onto his chest and just lay there staring at the tv. After a while I looked up and saw that Kai had fallen asleep and I couldn't help but smile. He was a sweet idiot to say the least. I spent the rest of the day relaxing on a sleeping kai's chest, watching nothing but feel good movies on his laptop which was perched in the center of the bed.

Before I realised it, it was already night time. After a few gentle nudges Kai woke with a warm smile, seeming slightly embarrassed that he'd fallen asleep like an old person.

"So, I'm a bit of a heavy sleeper." he said with a light chuckle.

"Yeah, I noticed." I said with a chuckle matching his. "It's getting late, thank you for today. I feel much better."

"Yeah cool. Let me get my shoes on then I can walk you."

I simply smiled before walking to the door. We had to sneak because I didn't have the energy to talk to people much less parents. Once we were outside we started walking at a relatively slow pace.

"You know if you want to talk about it, I really don't mind listening" he said almost as though he knew what I was feeling.

"Well, I have a lot to say. " I said awkwardly.

"Well, its a long walk" he said with a sarcastic tone.

"Fine well, the dude from the café , we were together. Well not officially but basically. We knew what we were to each other and that's all that matters. Or mattered. I just don't know what to do. I was at a point where I didn't imagine my future without him being in it. I know it sounds ridiculous, but after everything we went through I never thought we'd end up like this." I said as I felt the tears building in my eyes.

"Nah dude. It's not pathetic. It's normal. I'm no psychologist but I think your connection was deeper between you two, because of your past. After all the bad, you yearned for something a little less so and I'm certain he felt the same." he replied looking straight ahead, almost like he spoke from experience. "Well, just because he hurt you, it doesn't mean he didn't feel the same for you. Even good people do bad things."

I looked at him and what he said made sense but I wasn't ready to think about it. I needed to be angry at Ajax or else I would be angry at myself.

" Uhm... thanks. I think I needed to hear that. Now can we maybe talk about something else." I asked nervously. He laughed before nodding in agreement.

We walked the rest of the way home talking about the most unimportant things. I laughed more then I had in a while and I felt a little less broken. It was nice having Kai as a friend, though all I could think of was Ajax which only served to reverse the positive effects of Kai's presence.

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