Spider-Son & Iron Dad two shots

Perfectly Normal Shopping Trip

a/n: hello, happy april 1st!!! I call this one, "how many times can grace write a pop culture reference into one fic before tony rises from the grave and crosses interdimensional borders to tell me I'm acting too much like his pseudo-son"

All in all, it seemed like a good idea to go with Mr. Stark to the mall. He needed new shoes, he said, as his old ones tore at the seams from stress and use. The laces frayed and stained grey from dirt and New York's infamous puddle water, stiff and strung in a triple knot that he refused to untie. May was at work, he said— And Tony grinned with the kind of mischief only possible for mad scientists and excited mentors to achieve.

They ended up in Peter's side of the neighborhood, a shopping district in Queens that he was the most familiar with. Tony assured him the whole time it'd be a fun bonding experience, and that he'd "get a kick" out of shopping at all of Peter's favourite stores. ("Really! I will!")

Thus began Tony walking through the aisles of Peter's go-to thrift shop, dressed up in disguise, his hood up over his hair and blackout glasses that gave him more the appearance of someone who had a bad night in Brooklyn (who you definitely shouldn't mess with) than a celebrity trying to avoid detection.

"This is the worst shirt I've ever seen," Tony said, pulling a button-up away from the row of other shirts. Peter glanced up from the rack of sweaters and grinned at the vibrant orange and green tie-dye splash with little cars embroidered on the pockets, held in Tony's hands with his nose scrunched up.

"Wow," Peter laughed. "That's definitely a statement piece."

Tony filed it back into the row of hangers and walked over to him. "Whatcha got so far, kid?"

Peter held out his arms and started holding up the clothes he picked out. "This is a sweater that'll be big enough to hide the spidey muscles, this is a shirt with the Breakfast Club on it, and this is a new pair of jeans that don't have holes in the knees."

Tony nodded. "Nice threads. Very 'you'. Oh!"

Tony walked past Peter and picked out another shirt from the rack. He grinned like a maniac as he showed it to him, a fully bedazzled Iron Man shirt that looked like it could have swallowed Peter whole. "Now this is a masterpiece. I get why people thrift shop now."

"That's—" Peter stifled a laugh. "How much is that?"

Tony turned the shirt around and looked under the collar for the price tag. "Hm— Uh, forty. It's basically free."

"No, it's basically forty dollars," Peter snickered. "Are you gonna get it?"

"You know what?" Tony tucked it under his arm. "Yeah, I am. And I'll be the best-dressed at the ball."

Peter continued to laugh quietly and he walked up to the front, putting everything up on the counter. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket as the person began to scan their items. Tony came up behind them and waited patiently at Peter's side.

The cashier looked up, and something dull and tired in their eyes faded away into surprise. "Um. Are you...?"

Tony smiled without his teeth. "Yep."

"Wow." The cashier looked back down and quickly finished scanning items. "Um. Your total will be, uh. $59.26. Is— Are you paying for your things together?"

"No," Peter jumped in. "Seperate purchases please."

"The kid likes to be independent," Tony stage-whispered.