The Bad Boy's Phobia

{ c h a p t e r t h i r t y f o u r - t h e l e t t e r t o E r i n }

Chapter's Theme Song: Holding On and Letting Go by Ross Copperman

Chapter Thirty Four

-Kylie Smith-

Dear Erin,

Today is our exact one year anniversary. Do you remember? This was the exact date I asked you out at around our sophomore year. I finally had the courage to ask you out after years of glancing from the distance. After years of getting jealous with every single guy you've dated, I finally did it.

I finally asked you out.

When the word Yes slipped out of your mouth, I could not believe what was happening. I couldn't believe that I finally had you.

It's funny how you and I both ruled the school; you were the queen and I was the king. The only thing missing is that the queen and the king aren't officially together.

I could get any girl, yet I only wanted you. It was you who made me believe that love at first sight was possible. I did not believe in such things until you...happened.

Sometimes, I lay at night and wonder; what made me love you? Was it your silky, soft blonde hair that drives me crazy? Or your beautiful, ocean eyes that makes me get lost in them? Or is it your sassy, feisty attitude that I've never seen in a girl before?

Speaking of when I fell in love with you, it was in third grade in Mrs. Finch's class. Do you remember that time when Aaron and I took your crayon and started making fun of you? Expecting for you to break down and cry just like the other kids we pick on, you simply got up and headed in our direction.

Did you know what you did?

You punched me squarely in my nose.

I went home with a bloody nose, but it didn't feel painful at all.

It was the first time I felt...something.

I know, it's weird to hear a third grader sound poetic and dramatic, but age can not measure one's feelings. That's when it all started.

When you punched me in the nose.

It sounds strange that I started falling for you when you punched me in the nose. It showed me that you weren't like the other girls; you weren't afraid and you were independent. You weren't scared of anything. That is one of the things I love about you. Notice the word 'is.'

As the years grew by, I watched you grow beautifully and gracefully. I hated how every male in our school wanted you as much as I want you.

So, I slept with every living thing that has a vagina to hopefully take you off my mind.

But it's not working.

I wanted you, Erin. Only you.

That first night we slept together at my old pick up truck back in junior, it wasn't a romantic place to do it, I know, but it was magical. It's as if I was living in a dream.

I couldn't believe it was really happening. I couldn't believe that you were sucking my neck, unbuttoning my pants and that we're really going to do it.