The Bad Boy's Phobia

{ c h a p t e r f o r t y f o u r - t h e u n r e p l a c e d f e e l i n g s }

First of all, I want to take each and every one of you who actually took their time to read an unedited, self published novel by a 15 year old author wanna be. Every single vote, follow, and comment really encouraged me to keep on going. Thank you and words cannot express the love and inspiration that you guys have stored in me. Thank you and I do not know what to say to thank you enough. I hope thy you will support me with my other novels as well in the future and walk the journey with me as we get off this story's road.

This story is dedicated to _codysparadise_ _holynarry schummpje 😍😘

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Chapter Forty Four

-Cole Anderson-

"Cole, you're choking me," an all-too-known soft voice interrupted the silence.

My heart stopped beating for a second. Slowly, not believing my ears, I unwrapped my arms around her. "You're awake."

"I guess, since I'm talking to you?" Sarcasm dripped in her voice.

"Welcome back, nerd," I choked, feeling the tears building up in my eyes again. For the past three days, I've done nothing but to stay in the hospital with Kylie.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying?" Concern and worried etched on her beautiful face. She reached up to touch my cheek and I quickly dissolved myself in her touch.

It doesn't matter anymore, she's okay and she's right here with me.

She's not going anywhere.

"I really thought I was gonna lose you," my voice came out raspy and needy.

Her beautiful blue eyes flashed a hurt look. "I'm sorry, Cole." She closed her eyes and within moments, a tear fell from her eye. She took my hand and squeezed it. "I heard everything you said. I was already awake. I-" she sobbed.

"All I could think about was being perfect and skinny. I never thought of the people that I would impact. I'm sorry if you thought it was because of you. It wasn't, Cole. For once, I just want someone to see me. I just wanted someone to notice me. Take this for example; you only noticed me because you needed me to get you back with Erin. In your letter, you said you always see Erin whenever you see me. Just as I thought someone finally came along to make me feel special, you lied, giving me a reason to change. I thought that maybe if I acted like my perfect cousin, people would notice me too.

"And it worked. People did see me. I became more popular than her. But now, laying on this bed only to find out that I was here because I almost died from anorexic, I realized how far I've went. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it was your fault. It was mine. I wasn't happy enough with myself and that's where I went wrong. Nobody saw the real me either, because I buried her away and I blamed you and everything that happened to you. Everything was my fault, Cole."

She started to cry hysterically and everything in me starts to hurt. I guess her pain became mine too except seeing her in agony makes it two times more painful.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most." I took her in my eyes and let her cry on my shoulders until eventually, she calmed down and is able to regain her self composure.

"I'm sorry for soaking on your shirt," she bit her lip in apology. Damn, this is not a good timing to be wanting to kiss her!

"Really? That's all you could think about in a serious situation like this?"