Shattered Memories

Chapter Fifteen: Guilty Kisses

As I left the cave, my eyes were watering, threatening to spill more guilty tears. It took everything in me not to spill those tears. When I reached the shores again, I saw Sandor having an argument with Olive.

“Where are they?” he asked, through gritted teeth.

Olive just shook her head. “They wouldn't tell.”

Sandor gave out a loud frustrated sigh then turned around. He kicked a random stone angrily and looked up. His blue eyes met mine and it widened in shock. 

“Autumn?” he clarified and I nodded.

“My work here is done,” Olive muttered quietly then left to give us some privacy.

I gave Sandor a smile. “You don't have to worry about me. I'm safe.”

“You were with my brother,” Sandor said, slightly annoyed. “Who knows what he would do? And you're wearing that skimpy bikini!”

I raised my hands and tried to cover my cleavage protectively. “Your brother wouldn't take advantage of me,” I argued. “I'm your girlfriend.”

“That won't stop him.”

I sighed and shook my head wearily. I touched Sandor's cheek and smiled reassuringly. “I'm sorry I left you, okay? It was a huge mistake,” I said sincerely, yet I can feel the lie on my voice. It wasn't a huge mistake. I kissed Xavier, and even though it's wrong for others, it wasn't for me.

“Fine, I forgive you,” Sandor said and gave me a kiss on the lips.

I immediately kissed him back, snaking my hands on the back of his neck, pulling him down to me. I tried to kiss him because I thought maybe the guilty feeling would wash away. I thought maybe I would forget everything about what happened just earlier.

Suddenly, Xavier's face sprung to my mind. The way he kisses me, the way he was turning me on... everything.

In every way, he's better than Sandor and that's the truth. When Sandor pulled away from our breathless kiss, he laughed. “I think someone's eager.”

I blushed and didn't say anything. Instead, he leaned closer and whispered to my ear, “I love you.”

I debated whether to tell him that I love him, too - which was like lying to him. But I hoped maybe when I say that I love him, I'd immediately feel something. 

“I love you, too.”

And I felt nothing.

***

We were eating dinner outside the beach house. There were seven of us yet one chair was to be emptied. It's supposed to be my dad but I don't think he'd be here tonight.

Xavier was sitting across me, eating his desert quietly. Sandor was beside me, feeding me cake as if I was a child.

“Open up,” he said and I opened my mouth. He slipped a slice of the chocolate mousse cake carefully. “Yummy?”

“Loads,” I replied, grinning.

He laughed. “I'll get you some more. Wait for me.”

Sandor got up from his chair and carried the empty plate with him. Olive, Summer and Mandy were on the other side of the table, laughing their heads off with some joke my sister said. Mom was sitting two or three seats away, talking to her phone - as always.

“Xavier?” I quietly asked for his attention.

He looked up, a bored look on his face. “Yes?”