Starting Over

Chapter 9

He stands in the doorway, looking stunned. I'm stunned too; I didn't mean to say Tobias.

"That's not my name," he says as he closes the door, his tone chilling me to the bone.

"Yes, it is." I jam my foot in the door.
He pulls me inside and quickly closes the door.

"You apparently have some explaining to do."

"Listen, this isn't how I wanted it to go, but we need to talk."

"Who put you up to this?"

"Nobody!" I snap, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. I can't believe he still doesn't recognize me.

"Fine, then start talking."

I turn and see my reflection in the mirror in the bathroom. No wonder he can't recognize me, there's blood matted on my face and in my hair.

"Shit," I whisper as I walk toward the mirror.

I turn on the water and try to wash some of the blood off, but I only make it worse.

Tobias sighs. "How'd it happen?"

"Thomas and Grayson. They attacked me as I came out if the bathroom. They had a knife."

He sighs. "You're just making it worse. Come here."

He leads me to the toilet and sits me down. A second later he comes back with a washcloth.

"Can you explain while I clean you up?" he asks and I nod yes.

He turns on the sink and runs the washcloth under the water. "How'd you know my name?"

"It's probably better if I start."

"Fine, go ahead," he says as he starts to take off my destroyed jacket. Somehow it got shredded in the fight. I must not have noticed due to all the adrenaline I had during the fight.

"B doesn't stand for Becca or Rebecca, B stands for something else," I say as my jacket drops to the ground. I'm still wearing one of the shirts Austin and Tamra convinced me to buy.

Tobias stares at the four tattoos that stretch across my collar bone for a second. Then his eyes jump back up to mine.

"Tris?"

I can only nod. By the time I do he's already walking out of the bathroom door. I grab the washcloth and start wiping at the blood, knowing he needs time. A few minutes later he comes back.

"How is this possible?" he demands.

"I faked it. I needed to get you back here and out of trouble as soon as possible, so I faked my own death. I knew it would get you back here faster than anything else."

He's pacing across the bathroom, not even looking at me.

"I just don't get it," he says as he stops in front of me and finally meets my eyes. "I know the risks we were taking were dangerous, but I don't see why you needed to fake your death."

"Do you remember the journal I was reading?" He nods yes. "The screen it was on had plans on it. We were just test subjects to them, Four." I'm not sure if I'm allowed to call him Tobias anymore. I think I gave up that right when I left. "They wanted to run tests on us, they wanted us to be their proof that being Divergent is the cure."

"You say us, but how would they find this cure if you were dead? You were the most Divergent person there."

"They weren't going to run the tests on me, but if they hurt you they were going to hurt me too, no matter if they meant to or not. No, I was just supposed to be the poster child for Divergence. Once they had their proof that Divergence was the cure they were going to try some bigger tests on me. They had put something in there about how none of these tests had been run before and were extremely dangerous. They would have killed us all." Sometime while I was talking he started pacing again.

"I would have run away with you."

"I know, but would the others have gone?"

"Probably not."

"Exactly. I wanted to save everybody, even if it meant hurting myself."

"Hurting yourself? You think you were the only one hurt by this? You think I was just fine? Last time I checked, I was your boyfriend, Tris!" he snaps at me, shouting now.

I keep my eyes on the floor, focusing on the tiles.

"Fine, just let me finish with your face." He rubs at the blood on my face for a minute. "What happened to Thomas and Grayson?"

"I knocked them out. Last time I checked they were still laying on the floor."

"Good, nobody can know you're here or who you are."

"I know."

He walks out and comes back a few minutes later with a needle and thread.

"I take it you don't want to go to the infirmary."

"No, I don't."

"You need stitches."

I nod. "I know." He smiles slightly. "What? Are you enjoying this, Four?" I try to sound serious but I can't help but laugh.

"A little," he says as he smiles up at me. He sees that I'm a little shocked that he's smiling but he must think I don't want him doing the stitches. "Are you nervous, Tris? Do you not trust me?"

"No, I'm not nervous, and I clearly do trust you since I came to you for help."

He nods and smiles again. I guess the initial shock of figuring out who I am has worn off.

He holds my head in his hands for a second, examining the cut. He gently pushes the needle against my skin and before I know it he's stitching it up.

"Right here," he tells me as he points right between his eyes.

I stare at the spot he indicates and try not to look away. I didn't even realize I was shaking until he said that.

"You're done."

I relax. He pulls back to examine the stitches.

"Not my best work, but I believe it will do."

I stand and look at the line of stitches that now run from my hair line above my left eyebrow to a little but away from my eye. It just barely misses my eyebrow.

"It's better than I could have done, and that was my only other option."

As he turns to leave the room I turn too.

"How did you not recognize me?" I ask. It's been nagging at me since the first day. I honestly expected him to notice the first day.

"I wasn't looking for you. I thought you were dead so when everything in my mind told me I was seeing you I kept telling myself it was just a coincidence."

We stand there in an awkward silence for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. I finally get the courage to ask him something.

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"I don't think it would be smart to go back, especially if Thomas and Grayson wake up and don't go the the infirmary. They might decide to take you out of the picture."

"Thanks."

He brings me a different shirt since mine has blood on it. After I change I get into bed. I expected him to sleep next to me, but instead he made himself a little bed on the floor.

"You can stay up here you know."

"No, I can't."

I try not to feel hurt as I fall asleep.