Starting Over

Chapter 54

I wake up and Tobias isn't next to me. I get up and walk out of our room, looking to see if he's anywhere in the apartment. I see him standing in the kitchen with his back turned to me and smile to myself. I sneak up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. He jumps slightly and then turns around in my arms so he's facing me.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" Tobias asks.

"Great, until I woke up," I reply with a smile. Tobias laughs and shakes his head at me.

"I brought us breakfast. We have a meeting with Tori in two hours." I take a bite of the muffin he hands me and look at the clock. It's 10 o'clock. Despite how late the clock says it is I'm still exhausted. I got 5 and a half hours of sleep last night.

"I'm going to go take a shower," I tell Tobias after I finish my muffin. "I need to wash off as much of yesterday as I can."

"Okay," Tobias replies. He gently cups my bruised cheek in his hand and stares at it sadly. "I should have been there to protect you."

"Don't say that. I knew what I was doing, and it was my decision. You protect me as much as you can. At some point you have to accept the fact the yes, I'm going to get hurt, but as long as I get to come home to you I'll be okay. I make reckless decisions, Tobias. You know this."

He shakes his head. "You're not reckless, Tris. If you were reckless you wouldn't care about the outcomes of your actions. No, everything you do is for a reason. I may not always like your decisions but you always make the decisions that you feel will be the best for everyone. You may be Dauntless, but you're also Abnegation and Erudite. Every risk you take you take for a reason. You're not reckless."

"I feel like I'm reckless."

"You're not reckless, you're selfless."

I smile up at him. Before I know it my lips are pressed hard against his. I kiss him hard and he kisses back with just as hard. He picks me up and sets me down on the kitchen counter. I tangle my hands in his hair and pull his face closer to mine. I feel my lip start to bleed from where it was split yesterday. I pull back and press my fingers against my bottom lip. I let out a frustrated groan as I see the blood on my fingers. I slide off the counter and walk toward the bathroom. Tobias follows me.

"Tris, is your lip okay?" Tobias asks with a hard glint in his eyes.

"It's fine, it's just bleeding. It doesn't even really hurt." I sigh. "I'm actually going to take a shower now."

Tobias leaves me in private so I can shower. When I'm done I quickly get dressed. I choose an intimidating outfit to go with my new bruises. That consists of a tight black V-neck shirt, ripped skinny black cargo pants, my black leather jacket, and my boots. Once my hair is blow dried I pull it back in a tight ponytail. I don't even try to cover my bruises with makeup. When Tobias sees me he looks slightly surprised.

"You're really not trying to hide it are you?" he asks as he gestures to my bruised cheek.

"Nope. Trying to hide it would give her too much power. People need to see that it doesn't affect me. I'm not going to go crawl in a hole because someone hit me."

"I wouldn't expect you to. You're tougher than that."

"Uriah and Zeke want us to meet them before we go see Tori. They insisted on coming as well. They said they'll be in the cafeteria eating lunch."

I nod. I guess it is around lunch time even if I didn't eat breakfast until an hour ago. "Let's go then."

Tobias and I walk through the halls in silence. A few of the people we pass give me strange looks but quickly look away when they see that I noticed them staring. I know my face looks bad but that doesn't mean that I want them staring at me. When Tobias and I enter the cafeteria nobody really looks at us. Everyone is too caught up in their conversations to notice two people walking into the cafeteria. Our friends don't have that same reaction when we reach our normal table.