Starting Over

Chapter 11

"B?"

I can hear someone with a deep voice calling me but I can't quite make it out. It feels like trying to swim through mud. My head's all foggy and I can't open my eyes.

<<<•>>>

"It's been hours, are you sure this is normal?"

This time it's a female voice, but I still can't tell who. My eyes still won't open and I feel sick to my stomach.

<<<•>>>

"Tris... Come on, wake up."

This time everything feels clearer. I can tell it's Tobias. Who else would call me Tris? My eyes flutter open. I can feel his hand on mine.

"Tris?"

"Yes?"

He sighs with relief. "You slept through lunch and dinner. It's past 10 now. I was afraid you weren't going to wake up."

"Well, I'm up."

My stomach's rolling and my head's pounding.

"Tris, don't scare my like that."

"Tobias-"

"No really. I'm serious Tris-"

"Tobias!"

I turn to the side of the bed and grab the nearest trashcan. A second later I'm vomiting into it.

"Oh." He rubs my back and pulls my hair out of my face. "Let it out."
He sits with me for a while but eventually leaves so I can go back to sleep.

<<<•>>>

The next morning I wake up with a pounding headache and a lump on my head. I choose to skip breakfast and instead go straight to the training room. Tobias is already there.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I've been run through a blender," I tell him as I lay down on a bench.

He laughs which earns him a glare.
"The doctor said you'll feel better by tomorrow. You tested negative for a concussion."

"What happened with Thomas?"

"He was in the infirmary too. You knocked him unconscious before you went unconscious." He laughs and runs a hand through his hair. "I've never seen anything like it."

A few minutes later the other initiates come in. I stand up and look at the board to see who's fighting today. It turns out I have the day off. I sit back down and Thomas laughs at me. As soon as the fights are over I storm out of the room. Tobias follows me out. He grabs my arm.

"We need to talk. What's wrong?"

"You shouldn't have given me a day off!"

"You needed a break. Everyone gets a day off at some point and I chose to give you yours today. I didn't want you to get hurt even worse."

I take a deep breath. "Fine, it just makes me look weak."

He puts his hand in my cheek. "Tris, you could never look weak."

I go to smile up at him but he's already walking away.

<<<•>>>

I sleep all day and wake up late that night. I decide to walk through the Pit on my own considering my head is no longer pounding. I've only been out a few minutes when I see Tobias wondering around. I decide to follow him.

I trail him for a few minutes before he turns around and asks me what I'm doing. I guess I wasn't being as sneaky as I thought. He leads me toward his room.

"You know, you never told me what you did after you faked your death or how you got back in the factions."

I shrug. "There's nothing much to tell. I lived on the streets for a month before I got a job and rented a hotel room for about a year. Then decided to come back here. I pretended to be an Abnegation girl who's parents were shot in the rebellion. A woman who's family was killed took me in, and now I'm here."

He looks at me for a long moment. "I really missed you. Even when I thought you were dead I kept hoping you would walk through that door at any second. If I thought for one second that you were alive I would have never stopped looking for you, but I thought you were dead. I thought that I would never see you again and that I would never hold you in my arms. You should know that you broke my heart."

I nod and start to speak but he goes on.
"Knowing that, I suggest that we start over. I still love you, Tris."

"I still love you too, but what would starting over mean?"

"You've already started over once, do you really need me to explain?"

He smiles at me and I smile back. When I'm with him everything feels easy. I feel safe and happy.

"Why don't you tell me anyway?"

"Okay, so I suggest we take it slow. Not Abnegation slow, but close. I'm still not sure if this will work out, but I'm willing to try."

"I'd like that. Maybe we need to get used to each other again."

But neither one of us misses the unspoken words: we are still used to each other, but I broke what we had.

"So, how about I take you on a real date tomorrow night? If you're not in the infirmary?"

"Sounds perfect."

I go to sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in forever.