Umbutho

ONE

I live in Umhlanga with my father. We live in a big house but not those kind of mansions. It's been the two of us against the world since the beginning of time and without fault my father has taken care of me and loved me like no other. He has been the piller of my strength everyday without fail. I love this man and I am not ashamed of saying he is and will always be my first love.

My mother abandoned me after giving birth to me. I have been angry with her for the longest time and truth be told, i have decided to forgive her for all that she has done and the damage she left behind while doing so. She missed out on a lot and it's her loss just that.

I would be lying if I said I knew what my father does for a living and whenever I asked he'd say and I quote "Hlehle all you need to focus on is school and eating my money phela (that's all) nothing else should concern you" and I dropped it. So whenever he leaves I don't ask questions, I just do my chores and make sure dinner is ready and that's just it. My father and I have that typical Zulu father daughter relationship. He is strict and stern and doesn't really wait for anything really. When he says something you don't talk back neither do you backchat. You'd think I was spoilt but never, my father is a very intimidating man and that is always what I've known. I never got into trouble at school, always made sure my school work and my chores were complete before doing anything else and even at the age of 22 I still abide by my father's rules. I have never been to a party all night and not returned.

Waking up today I do what I am used to doing. I could say I'm predictable plus I have a class at 08:00 so yeah. I do my bed and my hair because this hair is a curse and a half. I do everything that I need to do before I head to the kitchen and prepare porridge. Deep down I know I would hate it if Baba had a wife because then what is the use of having me around. Just as he is over protective of me I am of him as well. When I'm done I hear his footsteps as he walks in with all his glory. "Sawubona Hlehle" he says as he takes a sit in the dining room passing me in the kitchen. "Yebo Baba" I reply then pour some porridge in a bowl and give him with a glass of water. "Are you not having breakfast today?" He asks with his head stuck in the newspaper. Who still reads from the newspaper when they have enough money to afford a tablet? "Cah Baba I have an early class" I respond and take my bag on the table and an apple then kiss his cheek and attempt to walk out. " Hlehle?" He calls. "Baba" I turn around and look at him. "I'm still too young to become a grandfather" what? Haiibo lo Baba. "I... Baba bye bye" I run out with him chuckling. I know that he knows that I'm seeing someone and although it's not serious, he is still there. The question is why the hell did he indirectly hint that he knows I'm already having sex?

I had my Umemulo last year on my birthday and soon after I started having sex with this guy I met. His name is Sfiso and he's ok I guess. He is not my boyfriend because I have not yet found the kind of love that my father gives to me. I want someone just like him; stubborn, strict, loving and overall supportive. My father has set standards that no boy has been able to reach so far and it's ok I'll wait but since sex is all good and stuff why not wait while I'm doing it with someone that thinks I don't know of his other endeavours. I reach school 15 minutes before my first class and there I meet Sfiso showing off his new car for the 300th time this year. Sigh the things we see in vasity. He sees me walking towards him and ignores the girl he was flirting with. This one thinks I'm an idiot. "Hey beautiful" he says wrapping his arms around my waist. Him saying that is just like hearing my full name from one of the white professor's here in school. It's disrespectful towards the source of it and how it was given to me and for what reason. He looks at me and tries to kiss me making me back away. "Hawu baby what's wrong?" He asks with a stupid smug on his face. I hate Pda it's disgusting. "Ain't you suppose to be in class?" I ask with a confused look on my face. He majors in Astronomy for Christ sake why is he so negligent of his studies? "I don't feel like it today. I'm not in the mood for numbers and whatever" he says dismissively.

"Are you serious right now? This is your last year Sfiso you cannot be willingly wasting it like it's nothing" I say feeling like he's just a waste of brain if he has any. Rumor is his parents bribed the dean into letting him in when his matric results were crap. I'm not a gossip monger but it's actually starting to make sense. "Could you stop lecturing me and give your man some love?" He says getting annoyed. "Haiibo me telling you to focus on making your dreams come true is me lecturing you?" I say putting my hands on my waist. "I have money sweetheart I don't need school. My parents have it all so why the heck should i be stressing myself with this place when I could be owning clubs with no degree?" What has our nation become? Our children have lost all hope in dreams Tata Madiba. They think school is a waste of time. They all want to be Dj's how Tata? How? I stand there defeated. So he thinks his parents are going to be here forever? Does he think money grows on  trees? He's going to have a bitter reality check when it all comes down shame. "You know what I don't have time for this. I have class in five minutes." I say and try walking past him when he grabs my hand and tightens it.  "You do know that I can have any and ever girl here in campus who won't pester me about things that do not concern them right?" I look at his eyes then laugh out loud attracting all the people who are actually here to study that are on there way to class's eyes. "What are you waiting for? Hmm? You need mommy and daddy to sign at it first? You're not that special Sfiso and until you figure that out you are going to have the most biggest clap reality has ever dished out and I hope by then it won't be too late" I pull my hand from his grip then walk to class. Stupid boy left a bruise on my arm.

I hate my skin colour. Everyone else seems to think that being light is some kind of blessing or whatever, me on the other hand hate how light I am. I am too light to a point where this one time I was waiting for a taxi and a woman kept looking at me weird. She said to the driver that I should go in first before I get home burnt by the scorching sun. Well I appreciated the fact that I got into a taxi but I was also disappointed at the fact that there were people in front of me who were also waiting to get inside. My skin is just weird.  I look exactly like my father except for my skin color. I have asked him if my mother was like this but he said no and that I have a skin condition that just makes me the way I am. It's not ichey or anything and I have had acne problems during my high school years and I thank God that they didn't leave black marks.

When I get home my father is not here as expected so I walk to my room and change into more comfortable clothes then start cleaning up and making sure it's tidy. As I'm done and trying to binge  watch one of my favourite shows CSI: Vegas, i get interrupted by a phone notification and it's a message from an unsaved number. I open the message and here lies my boyfriend having sex with this girl named Hleziphi from my school. She and I used to be friends in high school until she started to become a bitch and wanted what I had so I cut her off. Now here she is moaning for my boyfriend like her life depends on it. I close my eyes then just breath. Anything can go wrong right? I know I wasn't really invested in Sfiso that much but he was still my boyfriend and I thought he'd at least dump me before all of this. Let's just say the rest of the day went sour.