Umbutho

Fourteen

Fourteen

uBaba unenzondo engayi yazi nje nami. (My father's hatred runs deeper than the surface.)

How did we get here? I was so happy just a few hours ago and now there's blood on the floor. I am beyond traumatised as I press on Phila's bullet wound, one that was caused by my very own father. I am blinded by my very own tears as this all gets too much. Phila is breathing but I can tell that he is beyond the feeling pain. I thought my father understood, but if he did then why is my boyfriend laying on the cold floor of his own apartment while I press on his arm and thigh because he shot him?

"Phila." This is all I keep saying and hopefully it keeps him alive. He is losing a lot of blood and yet I can't seem to stand up and call an ambulance because I fear that he might die. "Asambe Buhle." My father's voice bellows as he starts pulling my arm only causing me to let out a sob as Phila flinches. "No... Phila open your eyes please. I'm sorry." I feel like I just caused the biggest blunder history has ever known. How did he ever find me here? "Buhlebethongo asambe!" I know not to argue with that tone. But how do I just leave him like this?

His eyes are slowly closing as I am being grabbed by my father out of Phila's apartment. I'm kicking and screaming before being shoved into his car as he drives off. "Baba ngiyacela can I just wait with him until an ambulance comes please Baba...please." His face is just stoic staring at the road like I didn't exist. "Ba..."

"Thula Buhle!!" I pull my knees to my chest and cry harder. I feel like my heart has been riped out of my very own chest. This is not how today was meant to go. Today was suppose to be amazing just me and Phila that's it. No one else was suppose to be there. I was just spending the day with Phila. Everything was perfect but just in a blink of an eye it just disappeared. Why was my father even there to begin with?

Flashback!!!!

I woke up today, went to school then saw his tall figure just standing next to a red Audi. He looked amazing and at that moment all that went through my head was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He came back after two more weeks since we last spoke and looked perfect. No scar no bruise and that just made me even happier. His eyes sparkled as he looked into my eyes from afar before walking a short distance towards me. I giggled being engulfed in his huge arms before being picked up by him as he spun me around.

We had a nice lunch date as he told me all about his day. All I could do was stare into his eyes and admire the love and warmth that radiated off of them. Phila is beautiful inside and out. He is kind he is warm and although he can be a little weird or rather intimidating, he still had that warmth about him that just allowed you in and wrapped itself around your entire being.

We were all lovey dovey when the door suddenly had multiple knocks. One after the other that drove me crazy but one thing made me halt on my steps. "Buhlebethongo!!!" I felt like my whole world just stopped in a matter of seconds as my father's voice cried throughout the entire building. I could tell that he was angry by the tone he used. I looked at Phila with nothing but fear as I could already see this crashing down on me. He ushered me to his room then as I was hiding I could hear them argue. That only told me that Phila had opened the door for him.

Before I could even think anything through I heard the two gunshots before Phila's groans were heard. I quickly ran out of the bedroom and into the lounge where I saw him laying on his side while one hand held the opposite hand and his thigh bleed out blood amounting to a river. I could see regret in my father's eyes but not because he shot him but because I just saw him do it. I stared at the hand that held the gun before he hid it away and tried coming towards me.

I walked backwards only halting when Phila's groans got deeper and more worrisome. That's when it clicked to me that my own father shot my boyfriend. I know about all the stories that father's generally hated their daughter's having boyfriends but this was way over the line. Why would he shoot my boyfriend? I ran towards Phila and pressed on the wound that was on his thigh.

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Now I lay awake wondering if Phila ever lived or if he died. I saw all that blood and most of it was all over the clothes I wore. I can still hear his groans of pain and all I could do was just hope that he was ok. Crying would not help the situation but it was all I could do at the moment. I've seen blood before but not like that. I was suppose to go and meet my mother today but I woke up and my father was not around.

I asked my brother Ntsika where he was and if he was coming back or not. I was really excited about meeting my mother which only turned out to be one big lie. He never came nor did he fetch me from school like I thought he would. I just wanted a chance to meet her maybe today wouldn't have even happened to begin with. "Hle..." my brother said as he walks into my room with a face filled with caution. I'm not the one to fear but the man that is in the living room with a gun on his waist.

I steal a quick glance at him before looking away. I am probably a pink hot mess. My hair is all over my face, my tears won't stop drowning my face. "He's just trying to protect you Hle." Hawu now he's protecting me? Kanjani why didn't he try and protect me when he first found out? Why did he hurt Phila now, why now? "If Phila dies I will never forgive your father Ntsika. Never." My tone is laced with vernom. I mean every word I say. If he was here this morning to accompany me to where my mother is then none of this would've happened. Instead he went to wherever he went to and now he wants to act all high and mighty when he knows deep down that him and Phila are one and the same.

"Now you're being unfair Hle. You want Baba to just sit and be free while he knows that you're in the company of an animal." Animal? My man is an animal? Mine? Heee Ntsika and his father should just go and hang themselves with a wet tissue. I'm enraged and the look I give to him at this very moment shows the amount of anger deep inside of me. "Animal? What are you? If Phila is an Animal then what are you and your father? You know what wena Ntsika no Baba wakho (you and your father.) are both hypocrites." I hate that he is not even affected by my words because I want him to hurt just as I am hurting. I want him to feel the pain that I feel right now.

"Ok Buhlebethongo. Dinner is ready come and eat." One thing I've noticed about Ntsika is that he is not a very chatty person. He would never sit down with a person and argue with them till kingdom comes. I wonder what type of boyfriend he is... "I'm not hungry." I'm also not going to go back and forth with him. I am tierd my head hurts and just about everything else in me. My heart feels like it's bleeding so arguing with this man right now is the last this I want to do. "Are you going to tell uBaba that?" If my death stare doesn't shake him then why is he still here?

"I didn't ask you whether you were hungry or not. I just told you to head to the living room. Dinner is ready." This one must be high on weed. I'm not going anywhere near his father.

It is days like this where I wonder if whether I would've been better living with a single mother instead of my father.