Umbutho

Four

Thula mntana ka Auntie.

I left my house with a screaming and crying Nkanyiso. He was crying so hard that it made my day very sad and stressful. When I left I had told him that I was going to school and that I'd be back soon but as soon as I stood up he wrapped his arms around my legs and started crying. It was heartbreaking but I needed to come to school nonetheless. I miss his smile already and I am not backing up from taking him to the mall with me.

Nkanyiso is tiny but very loud, his cries are deeper than what I think it was and I swear i heard him say: "Ungishiya nje ngomama (She's leaving me like how my mom left me)" it hurt me. Whatever that woman did to them hurt them because I could see that my brother was also on the verge of tears as well. I left nonetheless and here I am sitting in class not paying attention to the professor speaking about molecule nton nton. My body is her but my mind is fighting to go back home and wrap my arms around Nkanyiso and just assure him that I'm never going anywhere. He got attached very quickly and easily so breaking his heart was not an option.

After one and a half hour of pure torturer I finally made it out of there and requested an uber. The patience of waiting for a taxi to fill up with people who would be looking at me weird was just nonexistent. I got home to my brother's loud sobs. What have that's gone through because it really has scarred them and I'm afraid it's a scarring for life. I walk to the living room and my father had his arms around my brother whispering to him. I don't think he cried enough because right now, it was like he offloaded everything to the surface. I have never seen my father cry but today his eyes are red from tears and there were some dried on his cheeks. I stood there a little longer feeling my pain resurfacing. All my life I felt that my mother didn't want me and I was ok with that because as much as I hated it, my father made sure to compensate.

He was there for all the meetings, all the award ceremonies, when I was in a ballet competition, the science fairs and all the crying episodes whenever I felt like my life was meaningless. The fact that that women denied my brother the right to be raised by such a man is evil. I wish her nothing but the worst going forward. I floped myself in my room with my eyes filled with tears and there laid the little Angel on my bed holding tightly to my pillow. His face was stained with dried up tears and my heart was pounding with hurt. I hate feeling like this and the fact that my brother has felt like this all his life without someone comforting him is even crappier. I wrap my arms around Nkanyiso's little body and closed my eyes hoping that when I wake up, everything would be better.

Things get better with time. I believe in that connotation and everything else that comes with it. My heart is at peace because everything is way better back home. My brother went back to school after we discovered how smart he is. Everything happens for a reason hey. Little Nkanyiso is now in preschool and he looks so adorable in his glasses. Baba takes him to school every morning while I go to school with my brother. So things are good.

Today I had to go home alone because my brother had some errands to run for my father that I am not meant to know about. So here I am waiting for the taxi to get full and it's taking a long time. If only drivers weren't money crazy we would be such a better country. I look to my left and there lies a man. A man not a boy but a man. Dark, tall and overall just handsome. He is wearing jeans with a simple black shirt and some sneakers and he has a nice fade cut. He looks great and clean. The importance of taxi drivers looking clean is very important guys very important.  As I am staring he turns his head and locks eyes with me. So now I am a creepy girl in a taxi rank staring at a beautiful man? Haiibo I would disown myself if it was possible.

As my mind keeps bouncing around he walks closer and I hear him talk to a man that was meant to drive us home. He is right next to me only outside the window. He looks into my eyes just as he speaks to his friend. If this is wrong haii I don't want to be right. His black eyes speak volumes to my heart. I have never been so mesmerized like this in my life. He walks to the drivers side just in front of me and starts the car. Mind you the taxi isn't full yet so this man is ready to drive off with 8 people in the car. He starts the car after greeting us with his smooth yet rough voice haiibo weh Ma. This man is too much. His voice vibrates more than my father's does. "Sawubona" he said looking straight at me. God did I just die.