From The Day I Met You

20

We got home and as usual, nobody was home. Marissa was out working and Rikky was sleeping. Marissa would never leave Rikky home alone but we were five minutes away when Mari had to leave for her shift so she decided it would be fine to leave him alone for five minutes.

"So I'm guessing Mari is working?" Liam said while he put his hockey gear neatly on the side of the front door.

"Yeah. I gotta get Rikky." I run upstairs skipping two steps to get to him faster because babies should never be alone so him being alone in a house for just two minutes could mean life or death for a three year old.

"Hi baby." I cooed and picked him up.

"Hi. Where were you?" He asked. My heart ached a little when I heard that. When I was his age I also didn't know when my mom would be home. I never want Rikky to experience that.

"I was out with Li-Li! You wanna see him?" I knew it would cheer him up knowing Liam was here.

"Li-Li?!" He started to smile a big toothy smile.

"Yes!" I kissed him on the forehead and put him on the ground. I grabbed his hand and he started to run downstairs but he'd trip so I held his arm while we went down on his tummy.

"Hey bud!!" Liam stood at the bottom of the stairs with open arms, bent down, ready to hug Rikky.

"Li-Li, I missed youu." He hugged Liam and Liam placed his hand on the back of Rikky's head, so he can hug him tighter. He looked up at me and smiled. I just stood there with my arms crossed above my stomach watching my two favorite boys talk and hug. 

"I'll make dinner. You want anything special?" I asked Liam. He shook his head so I went to the kitchen to make a simple dinner. Rikky like pasta and strawberries a lot so I made alfredo pasta.
-
I started to cook the pasta when I felt Liam hug me from behind.

"Hey I know your tired. Go lay down I got this Gi." grabbing the spoon out of my hand and pulling me to the couch.

"Liam, it's okay. I really am fine." I went back to the kitchen to finish the pasta. I saw Liam standing there, he looked sad. Let down even. I couldn't even be a good best friend.
-

"Woah. You made this?" Liam asks as he forked up a bunch of pasta and shoved it into his mouth. Meanwhile Rikky is eating one noodle at a time because I cut them up for him.

"Yeah." I smile. I check the time, 9:30. Shit. I got school tomorrow and so much homework. And I still have to give Rikky a bath, do my homework, clean the kitchen, clean the bathrooms, and fix up the living room. And not to even mention I need enough sleep to be able to get through the day tomorrow and work until nine. I'm so tired.

"Hey you okay?" Liam asks. I see him wince a little.

"Sorry bad question." Liam goes back to eating while I put my plate in the sink. I can't clean while Liam's downstairs or he's going to ask if I need help. I can't let him do that, he's a guest in my house.

"Hey Liam, why don't you go upstairs and watch a movie? I need to stay down here and do homework and stuff." I say while looking down at the plates. I hate lying to him.

"Then I'll stay here." He says.

"No can you just stay upstairs?" It sounded more harsh than it usually would but I really don't know what to say. I just said it straight up.

"Why?" He started to stand up.

"Can you do it? Please." I must be confusing him so much. This is so stupid.

"Oh okay." I felt so bad. He hugged me and went up the stairs.

I felt so bad. Look what your doing to your friends, Gianna. I thought to myself. Look, your making them upset, making them feel like you don't like them. I didn't even eat today. I was doing so good and I messed it all up. I messed up months of recovery and thousands of dollars that my mom could barely afford medical bills for me. I wasted it. I started to tear up. God I couldn't do anything right. I walked backwards as the tears started to flow and my vision got blurry.

My back hit the fridge and I fell to the floor. I sat there. Just crying my eyes out. My heart started beating fast. Oh no. No no no. I ran to the bathroom as quick as possible and locked the door behind me. I felt my lungs start to work harder to get air. It felt as if my throat was closing.

"Oh god. Oh god." I closed my eyes and tried breathing. It wasn't working. I got even more panicked.

"Breathe in..breathe out.. come on Gianna." I tried to follow what I was saying but it was getting worse. I looked down and saw my hands shaking. Stop! Stop doing that!

I got mad because I couldn't control myself. I can't control it.

I started to see stars, almost like storm clouds covering my vision.

"GIANNA" Liam was pound at the door. You can do it Gianna, help is just on the other side of that wooden door. I hear Rikky crying, Liam was probably carrying him. I unlocked the bathroom door.

"Oh my god..." Liam immediately sat down on the floor next to me while my hands were still crossed trying to stop my body from shaking.

"Liam.. Liam I can't control it help me." I cried. I looked up at him and put my shakey hands in front of my face. They were violently shaking now.

His eyes softened and he looked like he was about to cry himself.

"Feel my heart. Breathe in..." He put my hand on his heart and I could feel the steady heartbeat through his shirt. I breathed in, mimicking his heart pattern.

"Breathe out." He finished, letting out a deep breath. I followed him.

"Good job baby. Okay now name five things you see." He looked at me straight in the eye rubbing my back. I could breathe better now and my hands weren't as shaky.

"Um. The door, the toilet, the cabinet, you, the floor, and the carpet." I looked around searching the bathroom.

"Your doing great baby. Name four things you can smell" He was still looking deep into my rubbing my back up and down gently.

"The air freshener, your cologne, Rikky's scented toy over there, and the soap." I answered looking around again. My hands stopped shaking now, I had stopped shaking.

"Good job Gi, okay three things you can hear."

"Your voice, Rikky crying, and the air conditioner." I could breathe better now, I could feel more oxygen getting in my lungs.

"You're doing so good baby. Name two things you can feel."

"Your shirt, and the floor."

"You're doing great, almost there. Last one, name one thing you can taste."

"That alfredo pasta." I laughed a little.

"See? You did so good baby, I'm so proud of you." He brought me into a bear hug.

"Why did you just have a panic attack?" there it is. Might as well tell him everything.

"I have a shit ton of things to do. I have to clean the house, make dinner, give Rikky a bath, put him to bed, finish a big load of homework and still get enough sleep to get me through a whole school day and five plus hours of work." I say all in a rush. Liam's gaze softened when he heard that.

"Gi..."

"I know I know. I can come to you for everything but I didn't want to have to ask you." I say.

"It never feels like a burden to me to help you out. You never ever ever will be or feel like a burden. I'd cancel all my plans just to help you if you need something."

"Okay." I simply nodded and hugged him.

"Promise me. You'll call me whenever you need help no matter what." Liam rubbed circles on the palm of my hand.

"I promise." I'll try my hardest. It's hard to ask for help.

"I never want to see you like that ever again." Liam wrapped his arms around my waist. Pulling me into a hug.

"Okay." We stayed there on the floor of the bathroom hugging.

"Go lay down, I'll do everything."

A/N: How'd you like this? Also my tiktok account is getting more views and stuff so yay!

ANDDDD, sorry for inactivity again I've been hella busy !