CURSED [D.M]

-(51) never be you

ZILLIAH wakes up, in peace. It's been a long while since she's been able to do that. She sits up in bed and slants against the headboard, just focusing on her breaths and recollecting herself.

She has woken up in peace but she isn't sure she likes this peace.

Sunlight pours in through the windows. That can't be- she had the curtains down before she went to bed last night.

Looking to the bedside table, she finds a cup of coffee with a note that says, 'Good Morning!!' in cursive.

Daphne.

She sighs and gets out of bed to brush her teeth and use the bathroom. Then she pours herself a glass of water and downs it in one go, making her way to the windows. She glances outside and sees the day in full bloom- happy parents, happy children. She brings the curtain down at once.

Grabbing her paperback from the table, she crawls back into bed and gets under the covers. She turns on the dim lights and adjusts herself to a more comfortable position, opening the book in hand.

And that's when her eyes land on her wrist. The black in her veins- it's.. gone?

How? 

Maybe it was temporary. Just a small after effect. And it has faded away now and all is well. Not another moment is spared to dwell upon it. She's past caring about her magic anyway.

She opens her book to the page where the bookmark sits and begins reading, putting her whole soul into it. She doesn't want to think of anything else. She doesn't have the energy to.

'Sooner or later everyone was driven to love someone they could never have.'

-

Zilliah doesn't know how much time has passed when she lifts her eyes up from the pages before her.

"It's almost half past two", Daphne's voice is stern and scolding. "And you aren't even out of bed."

Zilliah grunts at the interruption and shuts her book. Refusing to face Daphne, she stares at the wall in front of her. "I see no reason why I should be out of bed", she bites back.

Daphne walks over to the side of the bed where Zilliah is sat. Her eyes fall upon the coffee on the table- untouched and cold. In one swift motion, the cup lies on the floor, broken. Zilliah flinches, her breaths quickening despite her desire to remain calm. "Why are you so damn hard to love, my child?!", Daphne grits out, lowering herself onto the bed.

Zilliah gulps, her nerves heating up. She chooses to ignore it. She chooses to ignore her mother. She opens her book again, making to read.

But in another swift movement, the book is snatched away from her grasp. "Damn you and your bloody books", Daphne shouts, jumping to her feet.

A clean strike. Right across Zilliah's face. Her cheeks warm at it. The first touch she has felt of her mother in years.

"You want to hate me?", Daphne hisses. "Go right ahead. I hate myself too. I hate everything about this. I hate being the queen. I hate my responsibilities. I hate that the people come before I do. I fucking hate it, Zilliah!"

Zilliah's eyes become blurry but no, she won't cry in front of this woman. She just won't.

"But remember", Daphne continues, "this will be you one day." A small laugh, like she enjoys the thought of her own daughter being a self loathing queen. "There will come a day, you will put the people before anything else. And only then will you understand me. And when you do, mark my words, you'd want to fall to my feet and apologize. For all of this."

"For all of what?!", Zilliah finds herself choking out.

"For being too hard upon me."

Zilliah can't help it anymore. She stands up and meets her mother's eyes.

Rage. Her rage.

She does not get it from her father. Anyone who could see them right now will agree to it.

Because right now, Zilliah feels like she is looking into her own reflection. Maybe Daphne is right. Maybe this is what she will be.

No.

"I'm the one who's hard upon you?!", Zilliah asks, her voice filled with every last emotion threatening to burst out of her. "Me?!"

Daphne pulls at her own hair, frustration seeping it's way through her bones. She forces herself to lower her voice and speak in a much more pleading voice when she says, "Please.. I made you coffee. I thought you'd wake, freshen up, drink and meet me outside your room. We'd talk and we'd-"

"We'd what?!", Zilliah can't help herself from cutting in. "You thought we'd have a chit chat and we'd laugh and we'd be a happy fucking family atlast?!" It's absurd. It's all purely absurd and she can't stop herself from smiling in pure rage. "Look at us, Daphne. We'll never be a happy fucking family."

With that, Zilliah pushes past her mother and makes her way to the door.

"I don't know where to start", Daphne's voice is low and strained, all it's royal manner invisible when she speaks. "I-", a sigh of defeat, "I don't know what to do."

Zilliah shakes her head, her hands on the doorknob. She doesn't look back at her mother when she speaks."Maybe not slapping me might be a good place to start. Or not yelling at me every other chance you get."

"I-"

"Or maybe knowing I hate having my curtains up because I can't stand sunlight might be another good place to start."

"I didn't-"

"Or knowing I absolutely detest coffee would be yet another good place to start."

"I really didn't know.."

Zilliah looks over her shoulder and meets her mother's eyes one last time before she makes to leave the room. She sees the tears in them and some part of her heart bleeds at it. But she will not let it consume her- no, she refuses it to.

She turns her head back and opens the door. "You know", she mumbles. "I'll never be you, Daphne. Never ever."