The Dreamscape (Liam Payne)

29.<3

It was a dreamless night for Liam. Correction: it was a sleepless night for Liam. He lay in bed tortured by the thought of Stella being mad at him. Somewhere across the country there was a girl robbed of her essence and he was responsible. He knew Stella’s sickness was really responsible but he was the one who triggered it. He didn’t blame Stella for being mad at him, hell, he was mad at himself enough for the both of them.

Getting up, he went about his day the best he could. The guys did their best to get Liam to smile and goofed around with him through the day but it was clear his mind was elsewhere. Liam would eat when the guys did but simply pushed his food around and would constantly check his phone for updates about Stella.

“You gotta snap out of it, Liam.” Niall said to him during sound check. “Think of the fans.”

“I know,” Liam whispered with a heavy sigh as he twirled his mic around his hands, giving Niall a sad face. “I want to be good for them but I just… I just can’t stop thinking about her.”

Niall nodded and clapped a hand to the male’s shoulders. “She’s gonna be fine. El and Perrie are there. They won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

Liam nodded to Niall’s words but he knew better. Of course she would be fine when she was awake; it was when she was sleeping that he worried about her most. Liam dazed off for a moment as the music played through the large arena and it wasn’t until Zayn pushed on Liam’s back that he snapped out of it and began to sing his part, joining the rest of the group on the chorus.

The day dragged on, minutes lasting hours in Liam’s mind. The texts came slowly from Eleanor and Perrie, each one seeming more and more negative until finally another text came as Liam was dressing for the show. It was a picture of Stella hunched over her journal, pen pressed firmly to the pages as her caramel hair hung in her face. The words were simple but gave Liam hope.

Text Message – Perrie Edwards: Little bird is writing for you. We will send it when she’s done. She wishes you and the boys luck.

Liam sighed with relief and looked over the picture of Stella writing furiously into her journal and hoped that she would have what he needed. Liam knew that asking for someone to write a poem about you is like asking a musician to write a song about you for no reason other than your own narcissistic needs. Liam figured the best way to feel strong in his dreams was to go back to the reason why this whole mess started: Stella’s poetry.

He knew that Stella had written about him but he didn’t ever want to think that he was her muse. He had to be sure that it spoke to him the same way it did the first time. He was so emotionally drained when he read her first poem; lost in his emotions about Danielle and what to do from there. He needed that clarity again and he needed to know that it was Stella supporting him, connecting to him in a way no one else could.

“Are you ready man?” Harry asked as he slipped on his soft leather shoes.

Liam looked up from his phone and tucked it into his pocket, nodding to Harry’s question. “Yeah man, let’s do this.” Liam said with a deep breath as he joined up with the rest of the group in a pre-show huddle.

“Let’s go out there and have a great show.” Louis started as the five men huddled tightly together.

“For the fans.” Niall added.

“For us.” Harry smiled.

“For the girls.” Zayn said hugging the group tightly.

“For Stella.” Liam finished.

“For Stella.” The group echoed before finally parting.

There’s nothing quite like living out your dream. Stepping out on a stage and singing out to thousands of fans who can sing the lyrics right back at you if you forget. It was like group therapy. Everyone there had something going on deep inside that they couldn’t express. Social anxiety. Depression. Fear. Regret. Self-loathing. Physical pain. Emotional anguish. Everyone brought something to the table in that arena and they all sang. They sang loudly. They sang with passion. They sang because for a minute they were the same; supporting each other through words that each held different meaning.