love like fools ➙ glee

forty-five ; pretending.

There were soft murmurs above her. Alicia kept hearing them, dozing in and out of reality. When she felt farther away from the voices lingering overhead, she heard Jesse's voice instead. His laugh, his whisper in her ear, his harmonies. She felt worse when she connected closer to the other, unfamiliar voices. She didn't want to talk to them. She wanted to stay in that little dreamland with Jesse.

But eventually every individual must awaken from even the best dreams. Alicia groaned, her vision foggy as she blinked slowly. The first thing she noticed was Quinn, protectively hovering over her, whisper-shouting to a taller figure. 

Finn Hudson.

Alicia was slightly more motivated to wake up then, even as inexplicable dread clenched her heart. She groaned again, suddenly aware of the painful emptiness in her stomach, and how that was likely contributing to her growing nausea. She sit up, no longer reclining in the uncomfortable wooden chair, and Quinn removed her hand from Alicia's shoulder. 

"Thank god," Quinn said. "You were barely breathing for awhile there."

Alicia blinked, trying to clear some of the fog from her vision. She peered up at Finn, confused over the pinch of his brows and pained worry on his lips. "Are you okay?" she asked him, voice hoarse.

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Finn looked even more pained. It didn't seem like he was capable of answering.

After a few more blinks, Alicia could mostly see normally. Which meant she noticed Mr. Schuester, approaching her with a glass of ice water and some salty snacks from the machine downstairs. "How are you feeling? Do you want me to call for a doctor?" 

"I don't have insurance," she mumbled. She accepted the water, but ignored the snacks.

Will's expression was tense. "I'll cover it. Alicia, you gave everyone a real shock. It seems that you've . . . you've been going through a lot, and it all finally caught up to you."

"Not to mention, you haven't been eating," Mercedes said. Alicia startled, eyes wide as she looked up at the other girl. There was both disapproval and understanding on Mercedes's expression. "That's what it is, isn't it? I remember when that happened to me last year. It was the same thing, basically."

Alicia felt her cheeks warm, and she swallowed hard as she feigned interest in her boots. "I'm all right," she said, though it sounded fragile to her own ears.

It felt weird and unnatural, having so many people excessively concerned about her. Quinn, occupied in the spare chair, was acting like a protective mother bear, like she might lash out at anyone who came to close to Alicia right now. Noah went up to Finn, muttering something to him under his breath as they both watched Alicia. Kurt and Tina were both sitting criss-crossed on the floor by Quinn's feet, brows furrowed. Will, Rachel, Sam, Artie, Mercedes, and even Brittany and Santana (seated close together on the edge of the bed) were all watching her with concerned expressions.

She loved all of them. But it was starting to unnerve her. 

"I'm fine, can I just--" she cut off, breathing in shakily. Some of that anxiety was beginning to revive itself. "Can I just be alone? Please, just for a minute?"

It took some convincing, but eventually the glee club began to file into the hall, everyone talking quietly amongst themselves. Kurt squeezed her shoulder as he passed, and Quinn glared evenly. By the time Alicia risked looking up, the only people remaining were Finn, Quinn, and Will.

"I'm not leaving her," Quinn said sharply, feeling Will and Finn's questioning stares. "I don't need to explain myself. I'm just not." Will nodded, seeming a little too scared to argue with Quinn right now. Instead, he looked towards Finn, raising his brow expectantly. Finn faltered, but Quinn made the choice for him. "Step outside. Being around you is stressing her out worse. Look at her."