love like fools ➙ glee

sixty ; angel eyes.

"Alicia, do you mind staying back for a second?"

With obvious reluctance, Alicia hesitated at Will's voice. The rest of the glee club continued to file out of the choir room (some mumbling about how ridiculous it was that Finn was somehow one of the disco dance competition winners) with only Quinn sparing a glance back in concern. Even Finn and Kurt didn't linger, though that wasn't surprising.

She hadn't spoken to either of them in several days.

It wasn't long until only Alicia and Will remained in the choir room. She plastered a false smile on her face, which had become common for her recently. "Hey, Mr. Schue. Is everything all right?"

"Uh, well. You tell me." Will took a seat at the piano bench after Brad's mysterious disappearance. "You've been seeming a little . . . off lately. Like you're not all here, since before Regionals. At first I thought maybe you were struggling with how quickly graduation is approaching--"

"I'm not struggling," Alicia said quickly. "I'm fine."

Will's expression was doubtful. She didn't blame him. "Right. Well, I'm not sure you really are. And . . . I talked to Finn yesterday. He mentioned some things. Concerning things about you and . . . our competition for Nationals."

The blood drained from Alicia's expression. Despite their differences lately, she hadn't expected Finn to narc on her to Will. She opened her mouth, but for once, nothing came out. No lies, no deflections, only empty air.

"I just wanted to know if what he said was true. Are you considering transferring to Carmel High? To join Vocal Adrenaline?" Will didn't sound judgmental; only inquisitive.

Alicia exhaled. "Mr. Schue, please just hear me out. I try really hard to be as low-maintenance as possible here. I want to make things easier for people and help them as much I can, whatever anyone needs. But I'm one of the original members of this club, and I've never really had a chance to shine."

"Alicia--"

But she wasn't finished. "I would never want or try to betray the New Directions. This club means everything to me, but-- but it doesn't feel right. You keep encouraging the seniors to shine and make the most of their final year, but I'm still singing background harmonies after three years."

"You performed at Nationals, Alicia. Doesn't that prove how much we value and appreciate you?"

"That was only because of Finn," Alicia said quietly. "You and Jesse originally gave the solo to Rachel, didn't you?"

Will faltered.

Alicia nodded, glancing to the side. She knew that already, but it was still hurtful to have it confirmed by Will. "I don't see why it matters, anyway. Almost everyone is leaving. And I don't want to wait out Rachel and Mercedes's graduation, but even if I do, we all know Blaine is just going to take their former spot. I don't stand a chance."

"How do you know that if you never try?"

"Because it feels like the only way to have a voice in this club is by acting like you're better than everyone else. And I don't want to be like that. How does that make me any different from Vocal Adrenaline, anyway?"

Will didn't look frustrated, as she'd expected. If anything, he appeared contemplative. Several seconds passed. "You said that you've felt like this for three years. Why haven't you talked to me about this before?"

Alicia shrugged, feigning interest in her bright yellow converse. "I guess I just didn't think I was . . . worth it." Saying it aloud was an unwanted confirmation. Alicia didn't enjoy reflecting upon her feelings, and this was particularly unbearable.